𝐔𝐧𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐓𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐬

A Girl's Heart

10/26/19

"It's funny though. The first time I saw you, I've always had that impression na 'ahhh hindi ako pwede dito mafall. Isang tingin palang halatang hindi good news sakin.' but I didn't listen to my thoughts. Instead of staying away, mas pinili kong makilala ka pa kaya nilapitan kita at kinaibigan. Although my impression still stands, nalaman ko naman na may mga good qualities ka as a person and that made me fall. Just a little bit hard. Cliché, I know. But there's always that awful thought in my head na isa na namang pagkakamali ang napasukan ko lalo na nung sinabi mo noon na gusto mo rin ako. Alam mo kasi ang hirap paniwalaan nun kasi almost one month tayong di nagusap tapos after a few days of communication again, ayun yung sasabihin mo. Parang ang unrealistic. Pero dahil nga nakakatawa diba, hindi ko pinansin yon. Mas pinili kong tanggapin na lang kasi I liked you and that reason was enough for me. At least enough at that moment. Inisip ko na worth it yung sakit na naramdaman ko nung mga moments nga na hindi tayo nagpansinan ng hindi ko alam kung bakit. Kasi eto naging resulta. The one I like reciprocating my feelings are beyond great. Pero wala eh. Lahat talaga ng napupunta sakin, panandalian lang. Walang nagtatagal kasi lahat sila nagsasawa at iniiwan akong mag-isa. Maybe I was the one who gave up first this time. Maybe I was the one who got exhausted this time. Pero may karapatan naman ako gawin yon diba? Yung sabihin na 'Ayaw ko na. Itigil na natin to'? Kasi I deserve a love that is sure of me from the beginning. Kung hindi man love at least the feelings that you have for me is the same as what I feel towards you. Hindi yung kalahati lang ng time and energy mo yung ibibigay sakin. Yung lagi mong pagdisregard sa nararamdaman ko. Yung pagbibitaw mo ng mga salitang hindi mo naman mapatunayan sakin na totoo. Mga pangako na hindi naman natutupad. Most of all, when you say that you still miss your ex and you want her to come back? Akala mo lahat ng iyon hindi masakit para sa part ko? Ako nalang laging umiintindi sayo. Ako lagi nag-aadjust. Ako lagi gumagawa ng paraan para sa atin. Every damn thing hurted me so much. But because I liked you so damn much too, it gave me patience and hope not to doubt you and just trust you. Because I was a hopeless case for you. Pero bakit ganon? Kahit na ibigay ko ang lahat na pwede kong ibigay, hindi pa rin sapat para sayo. May hinahanap ka pa ring iba kahit naman andito ako sa harap mo. Ano pa ba kailangan kong gawin para isipin mo na I'm more than enough for you? I'd probably be still by your side hurting, if it wasn't for my realization na hindi talaga worth it mag exert ng pagmamahal sa taong hindi naman gusto ito. I'm glad for the memories but I regret crossing paths with you. You made it clear as day to me na there are people like you who aren't contented with whomever it is by their side. Thank you, and take care."