𝐔𝐧𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐓𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐬

Achievements

04/15/19

[A l y s ]

"Uyy ang galing mo Alys!"

"Congrats!"

"Sana lahat matalino kagaya mo!"

"I envy you Ate Alys (ㅠwㅠ)."

Ilan lang yan sa mga salitang paulit ulit kong naririnig sa personal man o mga messages na natatanggap ko sa mga kaibigan at mga nakakakilala sa akin.

Sa totoo lang, wala naman kamangha mangha sa mga awards na nakuha ko. Paulit ulit kong sinasabi sa kanila na if you work harder you can achieve more. Ayun lang ang malaking sikreto ko na gustong gustong malaman ng mga tao.

Nagsikap ako kaya eto ang nakuha ko.

Awards and certificates.

Compliments from people around me.

But i'm sure though. If I didn't have all of these... I'd be nothing.

Just someone useless in this society.

Nothing than just a worthless piece in this world. Kung mawawala ako wala namang magbabago sa mundo. Kung hindi ako nagsikap. Kung hindi ako nag-aral ng mabuti. Kung hindi ako nagpagod.

In short, I wouldn't be getting this special treatment if I just didn't live the way people wanted me to.

Right now, kakauwi ko lang galing awarding sa school. It's almost 5 pm. Hindi ko kasama umuwi sila mama kasi dumiretso silang supermarket para bumili ng mga ihahanda.

It's been a few minutes since nagpost ako about sa achievments ko and as expected puro papuri ang nakuha ko.

I'm super thankful, don't get me wrong. But when you're all alone in moments like this, you can't help but just feel empty. Like there's nobody to actually tell me I did well. To tell me I deserve this.

A buzz interrupted my train of thoughts and I immediately checked my notifications to find out what or who it was. A ghost of a smile escaped me as I read the message the person I love the most had sent me.
___________
From; Love

Kita tayo. Usual place. I'll be waiting.

Love you.
___________

Still wearing my uniform, I grabbed a jacket from my closet and made sure to lock the doors of our house.

Hindi na ako nagdala ng kung ano pa except for my phone. Wasting no more time, dali dali akong tumakbo sa lugar na lagi naming pinupuntahan ni Kiyo.

Sa park.

Meron kaming specific na bench na laging inuupuhan so it would be easier to find each of us whenever we're not going here together. So when I saw no Kiyo sitting on the bench, I got so confused.

I then remembered that there was another spot in the park that we would always go to whenever we wanted to watch sunsets. Maybe he wanted to watch one. Together.

After running again, with a pant I finally saw him. Seeing that he has a jacket of his own the cold hit me in realization that made me grip on my jacket tighter to myself.

Narinig nya kong gumalaw kaya napatingin sya sa akin. Nung makita nya ako agad siyang lumapit at niyakap ako.

"Niyayakap mo ko kasi..?"

I slowly questioned him.

"Body heat. Malamig kasi."

Snorting at his answer, I hugged him back.

"Tinext mo ko para mabigyan ng body heat?"

"Ayaw mo ba?"

"Not complaining naman."

Natawa sya and he reluctantly let me go.

"Pero seryoso meron nga akong sasabihin sayo. But before that specific thing i'm going to say, alam mo naman na lahat ng sinasabi ko sayo nanggagaling sa akin ng buong puso diba?"

I nodded at his words.

"I wouldn't say anything that would intentionally hurt you unless necessary. Every words coming out from my mouth is based on how I see everything. And that means everything that I see in you."

By now, I could only hear the erratic beating of my heartbeat and the chill breeze that passes our bodies.

"Alam ko." I managed to say under his intense gaze. I broke the eye contact between us and settled looking at his chest instead.

"I'm proud of you."

And with those words leaving from someone so special to me, it made me just want to stop all the sounds around me and fall to the ground.

Pero hindi ko eon ginawa. Instead I held my breath and I listened.

"I'm proud of everything that you've accomplished so far in your life. I'm not saying this because you think i'm obliged to tell you this as your boyfriend. It's not also just for the fact that you've gotten so many achievments in your education. But because i'm proud of everything that you're doing. Alam kong maraming beses na gusto mong sumuko pero hindi mo ginawa. Alam kong paulit ulit kang tumatayo kahit na palagi kang natutumba. Nagagawa mong maging masaya even for just a few hours in your day. All the things you're doing for yourself is what makes me so proud of you. And alam ko rin na iniisip mong walang mangyayari sa mundo kapag nawala ka pero you're my world Alys. Fck I can even say you're my universe. I don't know what'll happen to me when you're gone. I can't continue living knowing i'm in an earth without you."

Hindi ko alam kung saang parte ng speech ni Kiyo ako umiyak pero hindi ko namalayan na pinupunasan ko na ang mga luhang bumabagsak sa mukha ko.

"Thank you."

"I love you Alys."

"I love you more. I don't deserve you."

"I don't deserve YOU, Alys. You don't know how much a strong person like you can make my life so beautiful."

And under the mixed orange and red colored sunset we indulged ourselves in cuddling habang patuloy niya akong sinasabihan ng mga bagay na alam niyang makakapagpasaya sa akin.