𝘛𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢, 𝘛𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘥𝘺 - 𝙂𝙧𝙚𝙮'𝙨 𝘼𝙣𝙖𝙩𝙤𝙢𝙮 (ON HOLD)

thirty - "the shepherd method" - thirty

"Every surgeon I know has a shadow. A dark cloud of fear and doubt that follows even the best of us into the OR. We pretend the shadow isn't there hoping that if we save more lives, master harder techniques, run faster and farther it will get tired and give up the chase but like they say... you can't outrun your shadow. Every surgeon has a shadow. And the only way to get rid of a shadow is to turn off the lights, to stop running from the darkness and face what you fear, head on."
-Meredith Grey, S5E17, "I Will Follow You Into The Dark"

"Surgeons aren't known for being warm and cuddly. They're arrogant, impatient, mean as often as not. You'd think they wouldn't have friends, 'cause who could stand them? But surgeons are like a bad cold. Nasty, but persistent. Surgeons: nasty, aggressive, unstoppable, just the kind of people you want on your side when you're really screwed. Practicing medicine doesn't lend itself well to the making of friends. Maybe because life and mortality are in our faces all the time. Maybe because in staring down death every day, we're forced to know that life, every minute, is borrowed time. And each person we let ourselves care about is just one more loss somewhere down the line. For this reason, I know some doctors who just don't bother making friends at all. But the rest of us, we make it our job to move that line. To push each loss as far away as we can."
-Meredith Grey, S5E18, "Stand By Me"

"I have to go for the deposition. I have to explain in detail how I killed a man's pregnant wife." Derek sighed, glued to the  couch, surrounded by food, wrappers, and blankets.

"Dad," Anna didn't know what to say. He'd lost a patient and was slapped with a lawsuit within the span of a week, "Shouldn't we get up? You're always yelling at me to get up and go hiking with you. So come on. Let's go exercise."

Meredith watched as Anna grabbed his blanket and flung it off of him, "Okay... or maybe you could shower first and then we'll see what we feel like doing?"

Derek stared off into space, blankly. He had bags under his eyes and looked defeated. Anna looked at Meredith for help.

"I've got to get going. I'm gonna be late." Meredith was stressed, gathering her things, "We can't leave him here all alone. Are you staying with him?"

"Yeah. I'll stay. Bye." It was dead silent as Meredith slammed the front door shut in a hurry. Anna put her hands on her hips, looking at the mess surrounding her father.

"I've got a lot of work to do."

~ GREY'S ANATOMY ~

"My neurosurgeon has been missing for days, I have no head of cardio, general surgeons quitting on me left and right, surgeries pilling up like dead fish and no surgeons!"

~ GREY'S ANATOMY ~

"How's it going over there?"

"I cleaned the living room, made him breakfast and lunch, convinced him to get off of the couch, and he's taking a shower now." Anna sighed, looking down at her watch, "How's everything at the hospital?"

"Insane." Meredith said, "We're all overbooked. Make sure that you leave the house in half an hour. That's when the lawyers will show. If he's even fifteen minutes late, they have to reschedule the whole thing."

"I got it. He'll be there. We'll be there. Don't worry."

"Good luck." Meredith hung up her phone, trying to not stress as she prepared for surgery.

Anna put her cell phone into her pants pocket as she heard the bathroom door shut. She gathered her dad's coat and saw him walk down the stairs.