Force Destiny

Family

"Rey, wait!" Rose called, out of breath from sprinting down the corridor. Rey turned with tears in her eyes. Before her friend could mention them, she wiped her emotions away. If Rose asked her why she cried, how would she answer? Were her tears formed in anger and betrayal at Poe? Betrayal but gratitude for Finn? Fear for the Resistance? Fear for Kylo? Frustration? Guilt? Conflict? She didn't want anything to do with the Resistance, but Rose had never been anything but kind to her. Reluctantly, she waited. When Rose caught up to her, she smiled. "I'm coming with you."

"What?" It was surprising, certainly, but also heart-warming. After everything Rey had done – after all the secrets her friend undoubtedly knew she kept – Rose still wanted to stand by her side. Rey didn't want to be alone again, she needed someone to understand now more than ever, but she couldn't be responsible for the peril her friend would face without the protection of the Resistance. "No, Rose; it's dangerous!"

"Which is exactly why you need your friends by your side," Rose said unequivocally. Her eyes were bright, warm, and sincere. Rey didn't deserve friends like that. She had lied to her. She had led her to believe that the man she loved was Leia's son Ben Solo, not the dark lord Kylo Ren. Or at least, she had led her to believe they were not one in the same. It was her fault they were all in danger, yet Rose still wanted to help her. It didn't make sense.

Rey shook her head adamantly. "I would never be able to forgive myself if anything terrible happened to you... because of me."

"And I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if something terrible happened to you if I could have stopped it," Rose replied, grasping Rey's hand in hers. "You're the last Jedi. You give the Resistance hope. Like I told Finn, 'We won't win this war by killing what we hate, but by saving what we love.' I love you, Rey, and Finn loves you. Like I told you before, we're all family, and I'm here for you no matter what. I never thought that 'guy' you were talking about was Kylo Ren... it definitely would have been helpful to know before..." She winked at Rey, blushing slightly. "And, honestly, I don't understand it, but I don't have to. I will stand by you and help you fix your lightsaber so you can be the Jedi this galaxy so desperately needs."

The Jedi this galaxy so desperately needs... what exactly was that? What if she didn't want to be what they needed her to be? Did the galaxy need someone to defeat Kylo Ren? Because the thought of staring him in the eyes with her lightsaber thrust through his heart tore an ache deep within her soul. It would be easier to end her own life than his. She couldn't do it; not after the memories she witnessed, not when she loved him, not when she believed in who he truly was. She knew that the fate of the galaxy should matter more than one man's life, but how can they expect her to kill someone who was a part of her? They only cared about winning, but how could she side with them when she loved him? "I don't know if I can be the Jedi this galaxy desperately needs."

Rose pulled her into a tight embrace. "I believe in you, Rey." It was a strange sentiment; Rey didn't even believe in herself. How could this woman believe in her after she had failed them all? Rey wondered if she would still believe in her if she refused to fight for the Resistance. But if she didn't fight for the Resistance, what would she fight for? The First Order had to be destroyed. Could she abandon them all to a grim end at the hands of the man she loved? Or would she be forced to choose between her heart and the fate of the galaxy? Was it foolish to hope that Kylo would make the right choice when he had chosen time and again to remain with the First Order?

I know I have to face the fact that I might not save him; he may choose not to be saved. But our destinies are intertwined. I believe that. Is it truly my destiny to kill him? Why would the Force bring us together, why would it show me his memories, why would it let me love him if I was only intended to kill him? Is this some cruel cosmic test? What if I fail? What if I refuse to kill him and save the galaxy? What if I succeed? How do I live with myself, knowing what I know, feeling what I feel? I don't want this. I don't want to choose. Where is my place, if not here? What do I choose? I don't want the fate of the galaxy resting in my hands.

"Hey..." Finn said cautiously as he approached behind them. Rey released Rose and met his eyes. They hadn't spoken since she was imprisoned and she didn't know where they stood. She didn't know where she wanted them to stand. Her heart was caught somewhere between begging him forgiveness for forcing him to commit treason for her and screaming at him for taking Poe's side over hers.

It would have been so easy to condemn him, to give into the darkness that pleaded entry, but she knew it couldn't be trusted. As long as she kept the darkness at bay, she kept Snoke at bay, and Kylo was safe. Even if she trusted herself to manage anger without the darkness, what was the point? The true difference between Finn and Kylo – why she had been more disappointed in her bondmate than anyone else in this war – was not morality as she had first assumed.

The difference between them was she believed Kylo could change. She may have gone about it the wrong way under darkness, but she had become so passionate because she knew he could be better. While she held disappointment in Finn, she knew he would never change his mind. His eyes confirmed everything she needed to know. They were guarded in a way she had never seen before. She didn't have to be bonded to him to know he felt betrayed, and nothing she could say would change that.

"Hey, I just told Rey I'm going with her," Rose said with her arm around her shoulder. There was a tenacity to her tone that signaled her decision as final to both Finn and Rey.

Finn looked at Rey as if he feared her reaction but with a firmness that betrayed his resolution in his decision. "Okay, then I'm coming, too."