Force Destiny

Duty

Kylo had the droid hoisted onto a metal bench in one of the seemingly infinite maintenance rooms on the destroyer, with a BB series astromech droid manual open on his holopad so he could fix the droid's sensor. He had plenty of practice tinkering on his parent's droids – more often disabling them so he could sneak away – but the astromech series was an enigma to him. He hadn't worked on one in years, and the memories of the last time he had were not welcome. The droid was busy chatting away, clearly not disquieted by his mask as the others were. The astromech probably thought his voice sounded more like a droid through his modulator, or he didn't understand the intimidation tactics of humans. Either way, he never looked at Kylo like a monster. Kylo had forgotten how greatly he preferred droids to the human variety.

Kylo was thankful the droid couldn't sense his emotions. He had witnessed his earlier outburst, when Kylo broke yet another holopad, and had said nothing. He took the droid for a walk and found himself in the maintenance room. It was better than thinking about what he had discovered about Force Destiny. The machine could not simply reanimate a person; it would require sacrifice and their lifeforce. It wasn't that he would have to exchange his own life that concerned him. The transfer would require a lifeforce or an object imbued with one's dark essence, which was something he didn't have.

I was foolish to hope the machine could bring him back. It's too late.

His spiraling thoughts were broken by the hiss of the blast door as Hux stormed into the room. "Supreme Leader."

"Every time you walk into a room, I get an immediate desire to be... anywhere else."

"Ah, yes," Hux said, swallowing his displeasure. "And yet, here I am."

"How did you find me?"

Hux's face pinched in disgust for daring to ask such a preposterous question. "Your belt has a tracking beacon. You do remember how you were rescued from Starkiller, don't you? And we have cameras everywhere on this ship, as well as logs for your code cylinders. That is how I know, for instance, that you've paid a visit to the construction of the Force Destiny twice in as many days. You would think with all of those wizard powers you would –"

Kylo turned to face the general. "Do you have an objection to my oversight of this project?"

"Why would I?" Hux smiled, but his eyes were narrowed in distrust. "Despite your propensity to destroy important pieces of equipment, I'm not concerned. There is another functional machine if something... unfortunate were to happen. And, according to the instructions, the location of that machine is in the hands of your second-in-command. Curious it wasn't entrusted to you, isn't it?"

Kylo ignored the slight, hoping Hux would quickly tire of irritating him.

"How thorough, General." It was just as he feared; destroying the machine would not be simple. He was grateful his knights knew the location of the other machine, though he found it odd that none of them had mentioned it. Hux leaned sideways to stare around Kylo, clearly suspicious of what he had been up to. When he noticed the droid, Kylo shifted, blocking his line of sight. "Is that all?" The general rolled his eyes but adjusted his focus back to his superior.

"Of course not, Supreme Leader," Hux said, the glint in his eyes revealing that Kylo would likely not be enthusiastic about the words that followed. "We have collected a group of rebels who responded to the plea from the Resistance we intercepted on Crait. Sympathizers, it seems. What is your order?"

Why does this feel like a trap?

"Execution, of course." Kylo was thankful for the mask obscuring his face as he grimaced in response. The astromech droid beeped in confusion, and Kylo couldn't bring himself to explain his actions. The droid was naïve; what could he understand of the unfortunate necessities of war?

Hux's smile widened. "It would fortify the respect of the troops for our new Supreme Leader if you were to complete the execution yourself, especially after your disappointment on Crait."

It was an act Kylo would never have hesitated to fulfill when it had been an order, when there was someone else who held the key to his destiny – or so he once believed. When all he wanted was to become his grandfather. He had vanquished entire armies, killed the "unkillable," stared death in the face and laughed. Now, the thought of terminating a life that wasn't an immediate threat to his own felt abhorrent, like struggling against a strong current when everything inside him was screaming to turn around. He knew whose face he would see as he took their lives.

Kylo was overwhelmed with a feeling of being out of place, a wrongness that vibrated with every echo of the order in his head. Even the scars on his own hands were foreign to him, as if he had been transported into a body in someone else's life. Hux was waiting for an answer expectantly, but Kylo suddenly couldn't breathe, the mask his only protection as his mind unraveled. If he had everything he had ever wanted, why did he feel so lost?

"Supreme Leader?"

Kylo was faced with a terrifying truth – he didn't know what he wanted anymore. He didn't know who he was anymore. It was the same terror he had faced on his knees on Crait, but this time he had no one to blame for it. Despite the mask, he refused to meet Hux's impatient glare. "Give me an hour."

Satisfied, Hux exited back through the blast door, screaming orders and castigation to passing personnel, leaving Kylo alone with the droid. The droid beeped at him cautiously, and Kylo hated that after what he had overheard, he still expressed concern for him, still called him his master.

"I'll fix you," Kylo said softly, "But then you should find someone else to be your master. I'm not..." He hesitated, fumbling to adequately explain it to the childlike droid. "I'm not a good man."