Force Destiny

Beasts

Rey stared down in silence upon the two figures playing by the river. And he stood in the shadows, watching her. Kylo had reports, briefings, important orders to approve... but he stood, leaning against the wall in his quarters – or a tree on her world – waiting patiently for her to disappear again. She had brought him here; he was certain of it. He had sensed her attempting to sift through his consciousness again, and then she had appeared in front of him following her friends through the trees. The most confusing aspect was that she had never once seemed to notice he was there.

After interrupting her kiss with Dameron, Kylo was pressed to consider what he could witness when the Force dragged them together. Of all the scenes he had imagined, and feared, the one he had disrupted was not at the top of the list. It was baffling to watch her perform a Jedi mind trick on her own friends. Perhaps, she was not as loyal to them as he had previously thought. She betrayed their trust so she could spy on... a marriage proposition.

Rey may have been capable of hiding from them, but not from him. He could sense every one of her emotions. At first, it was happiness. But then her emotions grew darker, and he could feel her jealousy. Why? Had the traitor seen her darkness or her interest in the pilot? Had he rejected her? Did she wish that proposal was for her? Kylo would have been more than happy to kill him to avenge her jealous heart.

Rey sat with her arms wrapped around her raised knees, staring up into the dark canopy above her. "Why can't I just be happy for them?" she cried to herself. "I am a horrible friend. The worst. I should be congratulating them, but instead, I'm watching them like some creature in the shadows, like... like... him!"

The ironic accuracy of her words was not lost on him, but it wasn't his fault she had dragged him across the galaxy to scavenge his training.

"There is nothing about their love that should upset me," she said. "I want them both to be happy and they are perfect for each other. Anyone else would be happy, and that's it. I mean, I am happy for them..."

You sound thrilled.

"...I just don't understand it."

I do... you love him.

Kylo had believed the traitor loved her in return when he so nobly defended her on Starkiller. Though Kylo knew better than anyone that she did not need defending. When he was young, Kylo read stories of beautiful princesses who needed rescuing by brave men. He was told it was intended to be romantic. It never made sense to him, however. In his family, the women didn't need a brave man to rescue them, they had no trouble rescuing themselves.

His grandmother had been a queen brave enough to face down any adversary, and from the stories he heard, she was a force to be reckoned with behind a blaster as well. Leia was clearly her mother's daughter. He had always admired how strong his mother was and wished he could have been as brave as her.

Kylo had never expected anything less from his female Knights, officers, or stormtroopers than their male counterparts. When he had faced Rey, he admired her strength. He had never found anyone particularly attractive, before his bondmate, but if there one quality he would have searched for, strength would have topped the list. Along with honesty and loyalty, of course, something else the traitor knew nothing about. Rey was no holobook princess, but she didn't need anyone to save her from the monster. She was perfectly capable of destroying him herself.

"Why can't I have that? Why can't I have one person who sees me for me? Who wants me?" she whispered. She didn't love the traitor, he realized, she was envious of what he had. She wanted that belonging, that respite to loneliness. He understood it all too well. After the life she lived, she deserved that. Han should have dropped her off at the nearest ecumenopolis and given her a chance at a normal life; she would never find it with a group of anarchists who placed the cause above all else.