Force Destiny

Memories of a Monster

The memories became more intense, nightmarish in nature. And then...

Her.

Something in him changed the moment he saw her in the woods of Takodana. He had heard of this girl that had helped the traitor and the droid escape Jakku. He should have sought the droid with the map, but he was drawn to her. He had no reason to find her, but Rey felt his desperation to see her. His mind was focused on the girl, his hands trembling as he sensed for her energy in the Force. He seemed almost... excited to see her. It was the most alive he had felt since he left his uncle's temple. He saw her, and he instantly knew she was the girl in the Force he had seen that night in the rain. Still, he was looking for more.

There is something about you.

He wasn't angry she fired at him with the blaster, but she sensed his confusion... and offense. As he stepped closer to her, he seemed interested that she recognized him, but was disappointed when he found nothing more than a vision in her thoughts. "You would kill me," he had asked her, "knowing nothing about me?" The words took on a deeper meaning now that she knew he had seen her as well. His question was not only in offense; it was probing. He wanted her to confirm what she knew. He had expected her to know him.

I know everything I need to know about you, she had told him once in the rain. His hopeful – and then disappointed – response on Ahch-To began to make more sense.

His curiosity and desire to toy with her fell away the more he interacted with her, because the darkness inside her intrigued him. He was impressed by the strength of her energy and her fearlessness in firing upon him. He was accustomed to others running from him, not fighting back with the ferocity he had felt in her. She sensed his surprise that someone not aligned with darkness would use it indiscriminately. His thoughts already focused on discovering more about her, along with a desire to train her, but there was something else underneath. It was as if his light was already attempting to connect to hers, as if the bond already existed.

That's impossible, isn't it?

"Why wouldn't I kill you? I know about the First Order," she had challenged. Rey wished she could return to that day, ask him the questions that burned in her mind now. Who was she to him?

"I would say otherwise. But that is a small thing. Simple ignorances are easily remedied."

She could feel him sense her terror at being unable to move, she could feel his darkness feed off it. "So afraid... yet I should be the one who should be scared. You shot first. You speak of the Order as if it were barbaric. And yet, it is I who was forced to defend myself against you." There was something in her mind that he was searching for, but it wasn't the map. He discovered that she had seen it, but his search continued, focused on memories when she was young. On dreams. She knew now that he couldn't have killed her parents, so that wasn't it; what was he looking for?

The memory fractured without answering her questions, and another, darker, memory took its place.

"Ben!" a gruff voice shouted, stilling his escape down a skyway.

No.

Kylo didn't have to turn to know whose face would be staring back at him. He could feel the familiar energy calling him to remember its importance. He momentarily considered walking away, allowing the stormtroopers to handle him. But Snoke... he had to face his father, prove his selflessness and loyalty to the Order; he knew the time would come eventually. This was his chance to finally prove his worthiness as Vader's grandson. He swallowed apprehensively, turning to face his father. He hoped Han could not hear his breath hitch in his throat at the sight of him. It was a dagger to his heart.