Weeping Willow Tears

20-B

We did it. We were back the cave looked untouched, like nothing had ever happened. Elena looked around and smiled at me but I could see the sadness in her eyes. She didn't want to leave him. I couldn't deny I didn't want to either. Thinking back to Kol and all the time we spent together. It hurt. I couldn't deny that part of me wanted to go back. To have never sipped the water from the Willow River. We looked down at the coffin in front of us and now I knew who it was  I was going to open it and set her free. Elena gave me a look and grabbed my hand "No don't!" I frowned "Elena she helped us. We would've never gotten back here if not for this woman. We owe her" she shook her head "Bonnie 1000 years ago Klaus killed her. He told me. The first thing she'll do if we bring her back is kill him" she was right she would go after Klaus but how bad would that be "Elena I know you love him, but the Klaus in this time is nothing like the man you knew" she shook her head "I don't believe that. Now that I know, now that I've seen what I have I don't believe that. Just like I know you don't believe that Kol is a monster. That any of them are" I hated how she saw through me, I didn't believe that, the me that left here did but I didn't.

It would've been simpler if I did truly but I didn't. I patted the coffin and we left the cave arm in arm. We walked into the boarding house where Jeremy, Caroline, and Tyler were talking. Oh, right. Jeremy. He walked over smiling at me as soon as he saw me. The feelings that rushed through me when I saw him made me wanna cry. But not the way you think, though I missed him I felt like shit about what I'd done. I'd cheated. Granted it was in another time and it lasted till about 200 years before he was born but it felt like I'd cheated. Yet that wasn't the worst part, the worst part of it all was that I could feel it, I didn't love him anymore. He lightly kissed my lips and even though every part of me wished to feel something, anything I felt nothing. There was a tenderness there but nothing else, I didn't love him. How do you look someone in the eye and tell them you don't love them anymore? How could I tell them about the 800 years I spent with an Original? They wouldn't forgive me. He wouldn't forgive me.

I looked over at Elena who watched me with sad eyes. I know she felt like I did, thinking of Stefan, as a vampire he loved her harder than Jeremy did me. We'd break their hearts. I shook out of my thoughts realizing he'd asked a question "Huh?" he frowned rubbing my arm "What's wrong? Everything good? What happened at the cave" now everyone was looking at me and Elena, waiting for us to answer. I looked at her mouth open unsure what to say, should we tell them the truth? She shook her head at me and sighed "No luck. Whatever Bonnie tried to link between me and Klaus is unbreakable" I smiled a little thinking of her time with him. It's unbreakable alright. The light humor in her pun was enough distraction from our inner turmoil to smile for our friends but I knew it was only temporary.

After a while I left the Salvatore boarding house Jeremy trailing behind me "So wanna catch a movie at my place, cuddle a little, maybe some other things. Elena's probably gonna be here with Stefan tryna work out the whole feelings thing so we have the place to ourselves for a couple hours while Alaric's probably gonna be with Damon" I smiled fakely and kisses his cheek "While that sounds amazing I just wanna be alone right now" I said turning to walk away only for him to grab me "Hey are you sure you're ok? You're acting kinda strange" I looked around searching for any answer "I'm just... Disappointed I really thought that would work" I said making him smile a little, whew he bought it "Bon it's ok you don't have to have all the answers. Elena understands it was a long shot no harm done. No shame in trying right?" I smiled at him, he was so sweet, why did I have to send myself back in time? Even here standing with Jeremy I couldn't deny that I wanted the man I married. I wanted Kol.

I got him to let me go home and walked down the street trying to hold back my tears. All I wanted was to hold him at least once. I wanted to hear his voice, I wanted him to tell me he loved me and I wanted to say it back. Did I make a mistake? Did I leave behind my one chance at unconditional love? When I got inside my house I did the only thing I wanted to do cry. I was bent over my table bawling my eyes out. I just wanted to see him, just once, maybe if I looked at the Kol in this time. Met him, he would be a monster like Klaus and everything I felt would fall away. All the memories I had were of a different man, maybe seeing him would make this feeling go away. Solidify what I was hoping was true. How would I do that? That means going to Klaus' and setting him free. Letting him loose on the world. How long was he in that coffin for? The tomb vampires damn near massacred the town when they woke up and they were only locked up 100 years. I can only imagine was a couple more centuries was like. A knock at the door sounded and broke my focus leaving me to take a deep breath and shake myself out my thoughts. I opened the door to Elena with the same tear stained face I had just moments before. I could only imagine how she feels, she knew that this Klaus was a monster. At least for me there was hope, she knew the man of this time. And he wasn't what she fell for.