Weeping Willow Tears

7-B

I stay in Ayanna's hut combing through the grimoires again sipping Ayanna's famous herbal tea. It was soothing and relaxed me even in my most stressful times. Currently I sat alone looking at the drawings of the weeping willow tree. Even though I doubted it existed I still wanted to look. This is the first time I've entertained it since Ayanna brought it to my attention. This may be the only way to get us back home. If the story is true it'll take me and Elena back to the moment I started the spell. But we'd need to find it first, meaning we're not going home this way unless we become vampires. We will not likely find this in our lifetime it took 900 years for Klaus to find everything for the spell he needed to break in order to become a hybrid. I can only imagine how long it'll take us to find some mystical tree. We need don't even know if this exists. I sighed and pulled at my hair when the book was snatched from under me and I looked up to see Kol giving me a look.

"Time for a break?" he nodded and I gave him my hand so he could pull me up and then we left. He usually did this, when he saw me stressing out he'd pull me away from Ayanna's and take me on a walk. Sometimes we talked sometimes we just enjoyed each other's company. He hadn't made any moves on me since that night under the stars. I ignored my disappointment about it and looked over at him. He had something on his mind, I could tell "What is it" I asked pulling on his arm and bringing him out of his trance "I... I feel as though I should tell you something" I frowned and we slowed to a stop "I wish to ask this girl to marry me" I frowned unlinked my arm from his a feeling I couldn't decipher filling me "Who" I asked trying to keep my tone even "She's this amazing girl, beautiful, strong yet stubborn, everything you told me I'd find in a woman. I've known her some time now and every moment I spend with her makes me fall deeper in love with her. I  wish to ask if I may court her but I fear she may not accept me" I pursed my lips listening to him talk about this woman. She sounded great, that's why he's been so distant. He found someone so all this has been him just being a good friend.

A good friend. Why did the words leave a bad taste in my mouth? Why did this whole situation make me this upset? Why was I effected by him at all? I wanted to scream and punch something I was feeling so much and I understood none of it. He touched my shoulder and snapped me out of my thoughts "Bonnie?" I shook his hand off my shoulder and he frowned stepping back "I'm sorry. I- If this girl makes you as happy as you say just ask her. I'm sure she will say yes she'd be stupid not to" I said walking away from him back to Ayanna's "Where are you going?" he asked grabbing my arm "Back to Ayanna's. This break has gone on long enough" he grabbed me again stopping me from leaving again "We've but only just begun... You're angry with me? Why? What have I done" he asked concern filling his voice "Nothing. You haven't done a thing. Move Kol" I said wrenching my arm from his grip. He moved in front of me putting a hand on either of my shoulders "What's wrong Bonnie and don't lie to me" I pressed my lips in a line and pushed him "What's wrong is you! Flirting with me and being all charming and then suddenly you stop and come out of nowhere to say that you've found someone else to spend time with! Go take her on walks and leave me alone" he grabbed my waist and pulled me into him. His grip firmer than before this time I wouldn't push him off me.

"I am taking her on walks. She's the only I go on walks with" I paused and looked up at him seeing a smirk. Usually I thought it was somewhat cute but I only wished to smack it off his face now "Bonnie the girl I want to court is you. I know you have this special someone waiting on you when you get home but the way I see it he's a world away and you have no way to get back. I think this was fate, you were meant to be here now with me. Whoever he is he clearly doesn't love you as you say or he would've been here already begging you to come home. I know you want this you deny it because your nature compels you to be loyal to him, but Bonnie please think about it" he kissed my forehead and left me to my thoughts. It was times like these I needed to talk to only one person. I walked into Esther's hut where Elena sat staring into space. She did a lot of that lately, ever since the day Henrik died she seemed so lost in thought. I sat by her and she laid her head on my shoulder. I played in her hair and for a moment we said nothing and only looked out the window.

"Kol wishes to court me" I said at last biting my lip and looking down "What? Bonnie what did you say" she said turning to face me "I didn't say anything he told me to think about it" her eyebrows rose in surprise as she processed it "I'm surprised you didn't reject him outright" she said sitting back in her chair looking over at me. The more I played with my fingers and the quieter it got she seemed to understand more and more "You don't want to reject him do you" I shook my head slowly after a moment of silence. I waited for her to scream at me about Jeremy and how monstrous this family was supposed to be but there was nothing but more silence. I think the silence was more daunting than her screaming. I finally picked my head up to look back at her and I saw her looking back out the window. She was in thought again, what was going on with her lately?

"Klaus kissed me... like twice" it was my turn to be shocked, I could hardly believe she even let him do it. Considering the fact that their relationship in their time is so dark and twisted. She was looking at me now waiting for me to say something the same as I was with her. I sighed and bit my lip rubbing my arm "What about Stefan and Jeremy" she ran a hand through her hair standing up "I don't know Bonnie! That's why I've just been sitting here! I'm so... confused. It wasn't supposed to be like this" I knew how she felt I loved Jeremy but the idea that I'll never see him again has begun to seep in. And I think it has for Elena as well "We're not going home except as vampires and to spend 1000 years alone... I- I don't think I can do that Bonnie" I nodded and stood up as well hugging her "I know. I know" we both knew what we wanted it was know just a matter of whether or not we would allow ourselves to have it. That was hard, we loved the people we left in Mystic Falls. We cried for them and the idea of never seeing them again. But now that we've moved past it what do we do? Can we forgive ourselves if we do this? Will it even matter in the end?