Greta Meets The Big Bad Wolf

The inside scoop

Dante

If you want to find out information about someone, you go to someone who will tell you. I don't mean the source, because it's not like Greta's forthcoming with anything. I went to my sister, who was roommates with Greta.

I stopped by Goldie's house on my way home. I knocked on the door, and Andrew answered it.

"What are you doing here?" Andrew asked.

"Hi to you, too. Thanks for abandoning me," I answered.

Andrew rolled his eyes as he let me inside the house.

"I didn't abandon you," Andrew told me defensively.

"Yeah, sure, you ran off with my sister, leaving me alone in this dark, cruel world," I said, feigning hurt.

Andrew looked at me strangely.

"Chill, I'm messing with you. Do you think I care if I live alone?" I questioned.

Andrew rolled his eyes. I walked into the house to see Goldie sitting on the couch, looking at her phone. I walked over and sat down next to her. She set her phone down on the coffee table.

"What do I owe to this pleasure of you visiting me?" Goldie asked.

"Can't a loving brother visit his sister?" I asked.

"Well, no, because I know you.  You do remember we shared a bathroom growing up?" Goldie reminded me.

"Yeah, don't remind me. So many beauty products, crowding the countertop and cabinet," I groaned.

"Those were your beauty products," Goldie replied with a look.

"Beauty takes time. You should try it sometime," I retorted, earning an eye roll from Goldie.

"What do you want, Dante?" She asked with annoyance.

"I want to know what Greta's deal is with guys. The majority of women enjoy it when I show them attention. Greta prefers me to fall in a tank of sharks," I mentioned.

Goldie looked at me strangely.

"I spoke to Hans, and he's no help. The dude can't stay focus for two minutes, which he wanted me to tell you that he's still available," I added.

Goldie shook her head. "Hans is a die-hard but harmless. He focuses when the situation is necessary," Goldie explained.

"Okay, that says me nothing with my Greta issue," I grumbled.

"Greta isn't looking for some guy that chases her, then throws her back after he catches her. She dated a guy like that, and it didn't end well," Goldie explained.

"What scoundrel dated Greta to make her a man-hater?" I questioned.

Goldie looked at me as Andrew walked into the living room, eating some chips out of a bag.

"Cedric," Goldie answered. My eyes popped as Andrew choked on his chips.

"Come again?" I asked.

"Greta dated Cedric before Cedric came out of the closet," Goldie answered.

"Water. I need water," Andrew gasped, running into the kitchen.

I looked at Goldie with confusion.

"Greta and Cedric dated in college. One day, Cedric admitted he was gay and used Greta as a beard," Goldie explained.

I'm still comprehending the fact Greta dated Cedric, considering we knew he was flaming like Flaming Cheetos.