TaeYong was laying on the couch at LeeGuk's house, having decided to not go home tonight. His mind was in a haze, clouded by memories of the past and fear that didn't seem to be settling in his chest ,to let him sleep.
He just couldn't bare to go through it again. He was sure that he wouldn't be able to take one more death in his shoulders that would have happened because of him. His psychological state was too weak for that. His demons were far to powerful for him to handle them this time around.
After her death, there was no day he breathed comfortably . There was no day he slept peacefully . His dreams turned to nightmares ,chaining him to always live that moment over and over again. Cursing him to never forget the feeling of her cold skin as he held her lifeless body in his arms. She had proven to him how much she truly loved him however he didn't deserve her love at all. He didn't deserve anything he currently had. Such were his tormenting thoughts as he kept staring at the ceiling ,silent into the darkness.
What could he do? If that woman was now after you, what could he do? He couldn't save her and there was no way he could save you either. It was pointless trying. It was pointless thinking that there must be a way out and he could escape from this hellish circle of guilt. Only if he could turn back time and have avoided getting involved with that woman. If he had just stayed and decided to not take that damn short cut, that even though brought him lots of benefits in his career, it also brought him misery. If someone was to have stopped him back then. No, someone tried but he didn't listen. He was eager for success . He was blinded by his ambitions and now, there he was. Doomed in a life of agony and horror.
He could not escape, even if you were to die ,even if he was to fall in love with someone else after MinHee, he would only get hurt again and again because now he knew well, she was never going to stop. She will torture him forever til he returns to her but that's something he can not do. Because there was no other person in this life, that he hated more than her. The thought only of touching her made him want to rip his skin off of him. His heart ached at the thought only of committing such a betrayal towards his love that was no more. It was stupid and he knew it well.There was no point in continuing loving MinHee, because the dead won't come back,but he still couldn't help but miss her. Her smiles, her warmth , her words that always managed to make his mood better no matter what.
He wasn't a man that believed in love but if there was someone that embodied that in his life that was her. With her, he had felt the happiest ,with her he had felt alive and when she left, his heart beats followed her soul. What was the point of living without her?
TaeYong brought his hand and left it rest on his chest as such thoughts were running in his head,his heart beat echoing faintly under his palm, as his face took a sad expression , letting his guard down for a few minutes and showing his real emotions on his face, thing that he rarely allowed himself to do.
He had to always be looking okay. He had to always be composed and steady,no waving of character would benefit his public image . He had to look like someone trustworthy and capable of taking government issues upon his shoulders and fixing them. How could he allow others to see, that he couldn't even fix his own emotions?
---Change of set---
You were sitting on the couch as Jimin was washing the dishes, your thoughts having traveled to the current situation and how you would be able to enlighten the possibility of MinHee's death being an actual murder.
Namjoon's doubts seem to be having a base however you knew well that till now there was no concrete evidence that would prove the thoughts him and you were now having. The case was already closed and there was no way they would open it without any strong proof of something being wrong and that's why you were beating your mind, trying to think of a way that you may get that proof.
Their hidden relationship was obviously not enough and it would be better if such a thing didn't come to surface cause it would cause many troubles to TaeYong's name. Not that you cared about his reputation , however it was just not the right time to get into public scandals. He would manage to close something like that pretty easily after all. He had enough connections to burry such unpleasant news and honestly , you would benefit much more if you just make him suffer privately , as your original thoughts were.
You hadn't taken much actions of revenge against him ,mostly because you were doubtful if the emotional testing you had planned for him, was good enough to secure you what you wanted which was nothing more than for him to feel guilty of what he had done to her. Now however you want more than that. He is the only person that might know eactly what happened and as such he was the easiest route at finding out the truth.
Only if there was a way to get the truth out of his own mouth. However there was no way he would admit to anything especially to you. Could LeeGuk possibly know of this? They have been the best of friends since children so there is a high chance that he knew plus he is his right hand and his most trusted man. Not that it would be any easier to get information out of him than TaeYong though since you knew well that no matter how carefree and sociable LeeGuk looked on the outside, his exterior was not the case of what he really was.
He was smart and cunning and there was no denying that his manipulating skills were to the levels required of the society you lived in. He was as worthy as anyone to be among the politicians and the high class that he socialised with. It was hard to not be fooled from his friendly aura and constant smiles and jokes however you had taken notice of that glim in his eyes from the first time you had met him. A glow of hidden hate that had gave you the aura of malice yet you hadn't feared that feeling that his eyes had created inside you back then. You had actually related to it. It was like you were seeing yourself in a mirror. A gaze that kept secrets and grudges that could bring malicious intents deep withing someone's soul.
He was not an easy person so you decided to leave him aside for now and focus on TaeYong. There was a big possibility that he would be reporting everything to LeeGuk and ask help from him but maybe just maybe you would have reached close enough to shake his mental state by then, and succeeded to take something out of him.
Your thoughts on how to achieve that could be considered far from anything a nice person whould think however you were not a nice person. Not when it comes to this, not when it comes to bringing justice to her soul and revealing the truth. If you had to be cruel, you were going to be just that, as long as it would take you a bit closer to the truth.
As long as you would find some peace regarding all these questions and doubts in your head, you were more than willing to make a move against him. And your actions will be far from merciful towards him. It was all or nothing after all, there was never an in between. From the moment you start playing your cards, he had to go down, no matter what.
---To be continued....
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Deceiver //PJM FF
FanfictionA young man who's life sends him to walk through roads that stain his gentle soul, finds himself before a job that will change his heart forever. A woman , hurt and unable to trust people that consists of thoughts of the past and plans of how to ob...
