Take You Back

CHAPTER 45

~The reason it hurts so much
to separate is because
our souls are connected.
-Nicholas Sparks

My nostrils engulfed the delicate hint of vanilla in the air, and with this, my brain was flooded with pictures of an unidentified woman. Her face was merely as pretty as the first day I saw her, her eyes twinkling with laughter and her teeth glistening as she smiled. So much time has lapsed since then, and all I had left of her was the occasional fleeting memory. I had lost the sound of her voice and the tactile sensation of her skin. My chest ached at the thought of that loss. I had never lost anything, so why did I feel this way and who was that woman? No one had ever replaced her, and no one ever would.

"Vincent," the angelic voice whispered. Suddenly, a bright light covered my vision, preventing me from seeing anything. "Hello?" I hollered out. The light got even brighter, making me squint my eyes shut, using my hands as a shield for my eyes. In a flash, the light was gone. I removed my hands and was greeted by the most contagious smile.

"Grandma" I called out. She walked up to me, wrapping her arms around my torso. "Why are you here?" she chuckled, taking my hands in hers and starting walking into the white room that appeared to have no end. "The real question is what are you doing here?" I looked around for a second and then back at her. "You mean this is heaven?" she slapped my arm, playfully grinning at me. "No silly, I'm here to tell you to go home." In a wave of her hands, the sky revealed images. Images I can't really work out. There were two kids watching their mother cook. The mother had those same brown eyes that I enjoyed looking at as a child, but my life changed and I couldn't even bring myself to look at my own reflection.

"Who are they?" I was confused. "These people are your family. That's Venice, your daughter, and Vince, your son, and your wife. You should go see them. They need you. It's not your time to die. You have something more waiting for you." Do I have kids? But what about my commitment to Laura? She's the only woman I'll marry.

"What more is waiting for me?" She caressed my face and smiled at me lightly. "You'll find out in time now go, " she let go of my hands and started to float away. The same bright light returned, making me close my eyes shut. "No, please wait!" I shouted, but when I reopened my eyes, I had to close them back shut. A sharp pain lanced through my head and colorful spots flashed in front of my eyes. It felt like my whole body had been crushed and every movement caused some muscle or bone to ache.

The pain felt like someone had struck a knife into my skull. The rest of the world became detached, and all I could concentrate on was the pain rooted deep in my head. I could hardly hear anything around me. All I felt, all I knew was the pain of that moment and that it wouldn't go away. My eyes were fighting to open, and the other part wanted nothing more than to just stay in that godforsaken place.

I was tired of it, and everyone else was tired of it. I could hear them constantly shouting at me to get up and return home. I strained so many times, but I wasn't trying enough. I got angry. My eyes flashed open and my fingers started moving. I clenched the sheet and a tear fell from my eyes. I inclined my head against the pillow. Forcing my eyes shut, I wished for the pain to go away.

I sense as though energy is being constantly drained out of me, as though I'm leaking electricity. I breathed in and exhaled, going at a normal pace to get a regular heartbeat. "Laura I'm sorry, I'm sorry that I didn't protect you." I failed again. How many times is that going to go on? How many times is history going to repeat itself?

Forcing myself up, I pulled off the wires and stood up. My reflection caught myself in a nearby mirror and I frowned at my caveman appearance.

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