Unsaid

chapter ninety three

Niall took a handful of popcorn out of the bowl in the middle of his bed as we sat either side of the mountain of snacks we had acquired from his kitchen. We were watching a movie on his tiny tv, I wasn't too sure what it was, we had found it on one of the only channels on his tv that was actually working.

"That guys going to die" Niall said, pointing to the man on TV, a mouth full of popcorn as he kicked his foot out and laughed. I turned to him with a smile and shook my head.

"It's a rom-com Niall, you honestly think they're gonna kill off the love interest?" I laughed as he turned his head to look at me, an innocent look bracing his stuffed face as he shrugged.

"He should, it would make the film worth watching." He said nonchalantly, turning his attention back to the movie as I smiled to myself and took a handful of popcorn, pouring it in to my lap as I ate from it.

"So what Ben said..." Niall mumbled, his attention still on the movie as I looked over to him. "How bad was it?"

"Pretty bad." I mumbled, focusing on Niall as he kept his eyes glued to the TV. "But I showed him, he thought that he could get away with it, but I wasn't going to let him" I said, proud of myself as I smiled, partly chuffed at how I'd handled the situation with Ben.

"But he was right wasn't he?" Niall then muttered as I furrowed my eyebrows and sat up a bit.

"No?" I said quietly turning to face Niall as I sighed. "Of course he wasn't right. He was completely wrong."

"No he wasn't." Niall sighed, now looking down at his lap with a heavy frown set upon his forehead. "Let me guess what he said" He mumbled. "How I wasn't any good, I'm not good enough and hm, I bet you the old 'I ruined you' was thrown in there too right?"

Niall had got it spot on. But that didn't make it anymore true. Nobody knew what Niall was like but me.

"Don't put yourself down Niall." I frowned, feeling bad as he shook his head and huffed.

"Its not me bringing myself down Soph, its everybody else, dragging me. They know that's what I think of myself so they play on it, making me feel shittier and shittier." Nialls voice rose as I slowly backed away from him.

"Niall stop" I squeaked as he stood up and shook his head, pacing the perimeter of his small room.

"I'm fed up of what they think Sophie!" He yelled as I bit the inside of my cheek and watched his rage unravel. "Why do they all think it? Why don't they think I'm good enough?" He yelled, his fist coming in to contact with his wall as I widened my eyes and scampered to my feet and over to him.

"Niall its okay" I whisper, standing in between him and the wall as I took his clenched fist in my hands and held it to my chest, desperately trying to soothe him. "They don't matter, nobody matters" I whispered as he stared at me, starting to calm down before shaking his head and pulling his fist away.

"They do matter!" he yelled, walking away from me and back to pacing around his room as I observed, frightful of what he would do.

"I need to know im good enough for you!" He growled, crouching to the floor and gripping his hair, as I watched from the side lines, knowing nothing I could say or do would make any difference.

"They all know! They've all caught on and understood the fact that im not enough for you!" I walked to him and crouched in front, timidly cupping one of his cheeks.

"You're better than good enough for me" I whispered, trying my best to get him to look me in the eyes as he looked away, his eyes glistening as if he were on the edge of tears.

"Its only a matter of time until you realise too." His voice was now quieter and weaker as he stared down at his knees. I shook my head repeatedly, leaning in to Niall and kissing all over his face, trying desperately to convince him.

"Sophie no!" He yelled standing up as I stumbled backwards before getting to my feet. "Don't try to stop this because its true!" He walked back over to the wall again and I knew what he was going to do. I ran up and put myself between his fist and the wall.

I widened my eyes as Niall lifted his fist and started to swing towards me. I flinched and screamed, fearing that Niall would actually hit me.

"W-why are you screaming?" Niall asked weakly, I opened my eyes and observed his distressed face staring back at me.

"You thought I was going to hit you" He whispered as I stared at him vulnerably. "d-didn't you?" He croaked stepping away from me in horror with himself.

"S-sophie i-I wasn't, I promise!" He whimpered. "I'd never hit you, never Sophie" He said, tears now obviously forming in his eyes as I felt my chest tighten in pain.

"Niall I know you wouldn't." I whispered as he looked at me and shook his head, stumbling on to the bed as he sat on the edge, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Sophie you need to leave."