Unsaid

chapter forty four

“Excuse me?” My mother asked, her face turning a scary shade of red.

“I was, was studying with Niall.” My eyes flickered over to Ben as he remained looking at me, hurt but still with no judgement in his eyes whatsoever.

“You most certainly wer-“

My mother began, but then much to everyone’s surprise was cut off by my boyfriend.

“Miss Winters?” he asked quietly as my mother turned to him, wearing a queasy smile. “Don’t be harsh on Sophie, she and Niall are good friends, and there’s no point in trying to break up a healthy friendship.” Ben was actually defending me. Defending Niall. I turned to him as he stood up.

“Sophie, why don’t we let your parents have some alone time, shall we go upstairs to your room?” Ben asked quietly as I glanced to Matthew who looked just as pale and sick as I felt. I nodded helplessly not daring to look at my mother as I scattered towards the stairs, following Ben’s quick steps.

We sat in my room silently, I was on the end of my bed as Ben stood by my window, staring blankly out of it. The tension in the room was suffocating, I felt I would pass out at any given minute.

“Ben?” I muttered quietly, as he turned to me wearing a tired smile.

“Sophie, I’m going to ask you something, and for my dignity, I beg you to be honest with me. Okay?” Ben said as I felt a lump begin to grow in my throat whilst I nodded dreading what was to follow.

“Have you kissed Niall since he got back from boarding school?” I’d done more than kiss.

I stayed silent as Ben took a long breath.

“Please Sophie.”

“Yes.” I answered quietly, too embarrassed to even look him in the eye.

“Right.” He muttered, I watched carefully as he began pulling at his fingers, cracking each bone effortlessly, a thing I’d only ever seen him do a few times. “Please look at me.” he whispered as I obeyed quickly.

“How many times?” He asked again.

“A lot.” I whispered again.

“Do you still have feelings for me?” he queried. I nodded. I wasn’t sure.

“Do you have feelings for Niall?” He asked almost painfully. I nodded.

“I love you Sophie.” Ben pushed his face in to his hands desperately. I felt like such an idiot, I couldn’t even comfort him; I had caused him this pain, I had caused him to feel like this, and now I was sat in front of him, telling him that his loyal girlfriend, had been seeing someone else, someone Ben begged me not to.

Ben knew from the beginning.

“You know I love you too Ben.” I whispered as I reached out, timidly stroking his arm. Ben looked up, his eyes were red and so was his face.

“Do you love him?” he asked more forcefully than his other questions. I froze for a minute, I knew the answer, but I didn’t know if I was ready to tell it to ben. “Please.” he whispered.

“Yes.”

“Does he love you?” I froze again, I knew Niall loved me, I thought he loved me, I had hoped in the moments of passion, Niall had meant his words like I had meant mine.

“Yes.”

“Has he ever hurt you Sophie?” Ben asked gently as I shook my head repeatedly.

“I don’t want you to get hurt, ever.” He whispered, he shouldn’t be like this towards me, so kind and understanding, he should be fuming, breaking things, demanding his belongings back.

“I never meant to hurt you Ben.”

“I know.” He muttered. “I love you Sophie.”

“I know.”

“No listen to me. I love you Sophie, and they say that if you love someone you should let them go. I love you Sophie, and if you are happier with Niall then you be with Niall, I don’t want to see you unhappy Sophie, and this is making you unhappy. I’m letting you go Sophie, go and be with Niall, and don’t feel guilty.”

I had tears rolling down my cheeks as I stared at him, letting his words sink in.

“I wont tell anyone, save us both our dignity, we can just say it was a mutual decision.” Ben stood up as he spoke walking towards my door, automatically, I followed.

“If he hurts you, tell him I’ll kill him.” Ben laughed although a tear rolled down his cheek as he reached out and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear as I nodded, trying to laugh too.

“I’ll see you around Sophie.” Ben whispered as he leant in and pressed his lips against mine harshly, as if he were trying to suck out, to find any feelings and love left in this relationship, to savour its last, dying moments.

 a/n hi guys, im sorry this chapters so late, i've been out at the beach all day, despite it raining haha, but im absolutely exhausted.