Unsaid

chapter seventy five

After every single party I went to, I vowed I wouldn't go to another and yet I always managed to wind up at another.

Except now I was at Harrys house, sitting in the middle of his couch as my brother sat on one side of me, talking to a guy I didn't know the name of, and Harry sat on my other side, talking to Zayn. The house was full of people and smoke, much like every party. Harry had begged me to come, after apologising for what had happened in town, he said the party would be a good way to relax, and then my brother reassured me that Harry has the better parties as they hardly ever get out of hand, due to the fact Harry lives in this big house, bigger than ours, with a big sweeping staircase and marble floor, and therefore he wouldn't let anyone in that could trash it more than a regular party.

But I still felt out of place, terribly uncomfortable as the smoke filled my lungs suffocating me.

I stood up from the couch, determined to find a place of peace and quiet for the remainder of the night; however long that would be.

I tried upstairs, but almost every room was occupied, in a way that I did not want to think about, and the rooms which weren't 'occupied' were locked. It seemed like everybody wanted me to suffer alone here, which I wasn't going to do.

I found my way back downstairs and made my way through three large rooms, all filled to the brim with people and music, and smoke.

Relief flooded through me as I saw the French doors leading out to the darkness. I quickly pushed my way through the crowd of people and dragged open the heavy doors, stepping outside as the cool air hit me, immediately enveloping me and cleansing my lungs of the thick drags of smoke that had been eating me alive.

The garden, what I could see of it, was big, a large patio leading on to soft grass that I walked along. It was too tempting, the shoes were killing me and the grass was soft and welcoming. I pulled the tight shoes off and held them by the straps as I wiggled my toes in the grass before continuing to walk. The garden seemed to go on for quite a while, and the music from the house was starting to fade away to a heavy hum. I didn't want to go too far in case something happened and I needed to get out, so I took another few steps and stopped by the small pool Harry seemed to have.

I rolled my eyes at the extravagance of harrys house, and obviously his family life, it made me wonder how Harry had ended up like he had, 18, smoking weed and other drugs daily, skipping classes and wearing ripped clothes, with his greasy hair.

I sat on the ring of cement surrounding the pool before dangling my feet in and watching the ripples form in smooth circles.

It was so peaceful out here, despite the loud, scary party going on just a few metres away from me, but it all seemed almost non-existent as I sat by myself and allowed the cool water the relax me.

"I didn't expect you to be here." I glanced behind me timidly before frowning as I saw Niall, standing nervously behind me, his hands shoved in to the pockets of his tight jeans. Running in to Niall had proven so painful, he wouldn't just let me get over him.

"I didn't expect you to be here either." I whispered, shuffling over so he could sit next to me, which was what he had been insinuating, and having Niall with me, no matter how painful, was also unbelievably comforting.

"It's a party isn't it? Am I not a party-goer?" He laughed weakly, staring at my feet in the water. I could tell he was nervous, maybe even more than I was as he refused to look me in the eye.

"Well yeah, but this is Harrys party" I mumbled, the words almost felt rude coming out of my mouth, like I was on harrys side and telling Niall he didn't belong here. But I didn't mean it like that whatsoever.