Unsaid

chapter eighteen

“Nobody’s in.” he mumbled pointing to my house.

Of course. It was my father’s birthday, the whole family had gone out for brunch to celebrate, I’d known about this weeks ago, and where was I when it mattered? In some strangers house, with a boy who wasn’t my boyfriend, and a bunch of passed out drunks.

This wasn’t me. I wasn’t the girl who missed her father’s birthday and her whole family brunch, or the type of girl who went around cheating on her boyfriend with a boy out of her league, I didn’t spend all night at a party and come home the next morning in the same clothes as the night before.

This wasn’t me.

And yet somehow, the thought of doing it all again, although sending pains through my body, made me feel different, dangerous, and I liked it.

“Thanks for leaving me.” I grumbled unlocking my door and walking in, aware of the fact Niall was following closely behind.

“I had to get out of there, I needed time to think.” He mumbled sitting on the cream sofa as I poured myself a large glass of water.

I sat down, as we both remained silent, thinking the same thing without a doubt. I couldn’t look at him without fast images of his lips on mine flashing through my mind, the way his chest felt against my hand, the heat radiating off on to me, as he whispered my name in short breaths.

“Last night…” he whispered as I looked up at him. “I uh, we, uh...” He stuttered, unable to form a coherent sentence

“Kissed?” I completed his sentence, as he nodded, scratching at a scab on his knuckles.

“Yeah, yeah we did. Nobody can know.”

“Obviously. I have a boyfriend.”

“No, this isn’t because you have a fucking boyfriend, I couldn’t give a shit about Benjamin, but just no one can know.” He said frustration clear in his voice, I didn’t like his patronising tone as he called him Benjamin.

“It can’t happen again.” I murmured as he suddenly looked up from the seat, connecting our eyes, he furrowed his eyebrows together, for a second before shaking the expression off.

“Obviously, last night was a mistake.” His tone was harsh, and it pierced through me, although it couldn’t happen again, it didn’t mean it was a mistake, I certainly didn’t regard it as a mistake.

I sighed before standing up and walking in to the entrance hall opening the front door for Niall.

“Thanks.” I murmured as he studied my expression stopping opposite me.

“You don’t think it was a mistake?” he asked tilting his head, as I shook mine nervously. Once again, I found our heads moving closer to each other and before I knew it, the warm heat from yesterday had reignited as his lips moved against mine, his tongue darting in and out carelessly as a hand moved to my cheek gently.

He pulled away too soon, lingering close to my face as his eyes moved from my lips to my own eyes, tongue gliding over his lips, wetting them. His hand hadn’t moved from my face as one of my own rested on his chest again, I was trapped between him and the door as his other hand leant against the wall, keeping me captive.

“Mistake.” He whispered after a long silence, I shook my head about to say something, but his hand slipped from my face as he walked out, jumping over the low fence in to his own front garden, leaving my breathless on my doorstep.

He turned and looked at me, before walking in and shutting the door.

I silently walked up to my bedroom, curling up on to my window seat, pulling out an old and worn copy of peter pan, the original of course, and wasted the rest of the day sitting there, ignoring the numerous phone calls I received from Louis and pretty much every member of my family- mother, father, aunts, uncles, grandparents, Matthew even called me once.