Pantie Rule

26 | Fool or School

Agnes: Babes, you no go fit guess wetin happen today. Kosiso don get new boyfriend o.

I jumped up when I mistakenly saw this new message on my phone. New boywhatnow? I thought we all had made a silent, more or less telepathic promise to ourselves not to date. Who was he anyway? And how come? How come so fast? I thought we all were on a no-boyfriend-break since our break-ups.

Their break-ups.

My hands immediately went to work.

How?
How did it happen?
And who? Pls answer ASAP.

Another message came in from.

Jamila: You will not guess what just happened today! Our tigeress now has a tiger!

I rolled my eyes, Jamila and animals. Tigress, Tiger. Of course the tigress would be Kosi. This news is such a shock though. But what if Jamila tried to group us into animals too? I tried to imagine what she would say about all four of us if we had boyfriends.

For Constance: Our doe now has a buck!
NB: Constance is rat.

For Agnes: Our hen now has a cock!(shit! Why does this have double meaning?) I ditch that.
NB: Agnes is a parrot.

For Jamila: Our ectoparasite now has a male mosquito.
NB: Jamila is a you-know-what.

And

For Omotara: Our bitch now has a dog.

NB: I think that's self explanatory.

My phone pinged again.

Agnes: It's your Chizutere Chen o! He's now dating Kosi!😱😱😱

My jaw fell. I mean, not fell fell, but fell. What? Chizutere and Kosi? See drama. Both of them were dating? Shit! Shit! Shit! I scratched my hair and inhaled. I felt excitement and trepidation, at the same time. I gulped, told myself it's okay, sat well on my bed, placed my feet on the cold tiles. The cold seemed to seeped through them, up straight into my body.

I was breathing fast. Kisi is dating my semi-rapist. I gulped again. Another message came in again.

Agnes: Babes, when you dey come na? Excursion na next week o. I dey miss you. And this Chizutere boy. You sure say you like am? 😵

I gulped. I still hadn't swallowed the news, that Kosiso was dating Chizutere. It still hung in my throat like bitter paracetamol. Just then my phone rang.

Guess what? It was Kosi!

Woah! So she wanted to call me, to tell me how nice it was to have him as boyfriend abi? I laughed, but hastily picked it.

I blinked twice to be sure I wasn't still in Disneyland. I had dreamt I was in Disneyland in my sleep. And guess who I was in Disneyland with. Marcus. Of all people, Marcus. And why would I be in Disneyland with a boy for god's sake! I'd rather go to Disneyland with broken legs than go with a boy.

Yes, quote me. I said it!

The weirdest dream ever!