Pretty Boy [bxb] | ✔️

Chapter twenty-four: Not giving a crap

"I gathered," I smirk. It only makes Alex look more worried, so I snap my mouth shut.

"Please know that doesn't mean I'm going to try and get you to sleep with me or anything. You mean a lot to me, you have done for a pretty long while. You're not like everyone else, sexual shit like that isn't important when it comes to you but, I do have to admit here, I have urges to be with you, if you get what I mean. I just want to warn you before we start properly dating or whatever. If you feel uncomfortable at any time at all, please let me know. I'll back off immediately."

I feel the urge to laugh at the image of him wanking off to me, I have no idea what he'd picture, but then I remember that this is a somewhat mature conversation and being immature isn't the best move right now. "It's OK. I will. Don't worry."

"I know this is a bit of a personal question and you don't have to answer if you don't want to, especially as we've kinda only started dating. I only want to know before we get into anything, as you said over the phone that you would let me do stuff with you. How many people have you have sex with?"

I hesitate, but then I know I don't need to lie. There'd be no point. "One. A girl, before you ask," I reply, feeling embarrassed about the lack of sexual experience I hold compared to him, and in general. I don't need to ask Alex to know that he's slept with a large about of people. It shouldn't do, but it makes me feel a bit intimidated.

"Only one?" He asks.

I expect him to smirk, or at least spot a teasing glint appear in his eyes, but he doesn't. He keeps his serious demeanour, and I'm thankful for it. I know I don't need to be embarrassed and I shouldn't think he'd make fun of me for it, but anxiety is a bitch.

"Yeah. Is that a problem at all?"

"Kinda hoped you were a virgin," he says, but he says it with a cheeky grin.

"Huh?"

"I'm kidding," he tells me. I let out a nervous-sounding laugh. "Thought I kinda did have a fantasy of taking your virginity at one point."

"What?"

"I don't know. Don't people usually have fantasies about things that probably won't come true?"

Hm. I take a beat to respond. I know I do, so I say, "I guess so."

"Okay, it's not like I didn't want you to do stuff with other people before me, I'm not weird like that, it's just the idea of the connection, you know. I don't know, ignore me, it's stupid. I don't have it anymore."

I smile at him, my heart doing a weird flip. He seriously did like me. Now that I'm aware I do it, I can feel myself bite my lower lip. "It's not stupid, but it is dumb."

"There's a difference?"

"Yeah, I guess so. Not stupid because sometimes we can't help our fantasies and we're allowed to want things, regardless of whether or not it will come true. Everyone has them. Dumb because there was a high chance of it never coming true, and it's not going to be true."

"Yeah. Good to know you understand."

"Well, duh, I understand. You never said 'let me take your virginity' or anything like that, so there was no reason to assume. I do think the fantasy is kind of sweet."