A Mother's Bond

46

"I'm trying my best, but it's not enough," I whispered, my fear choking me. "I don't know how to fix this. It's so much."

Kelly grabbed my chin, catching my eye. "Solo, you have already done so much. When Beyoncé is in her right mind, she is gonna be so grateful for everything you've done. You are an amazing sister, and an incredible aunt. But it's time for you to let go and hand off this burden to somebody else."

I pulled my face out of her grasp. "What? No. Sarayah needs me now more than ever. I'm not leaving. I don't trust Beyoncé at all–"

"And me?" Another voice asked. I looked up and saw Mama leaning in the doorway. She shut the door behind her and sat on my right side, sandwiching me between her and Kelly.

I frowned. "You?"

Mama nodded, wiping away my stray tears. "Yes, me. I feel like I've failed you more than anyone else. I should've been here taking care of things, not you. You need to go home."

I shook my head. "Sarayah–"

"Sarayah," Mama cut in. "Will be fine with me." She rubbed my back, resting her head against mine. "Let go of the guilt, baby. This is not on you. Let it go."

Kelly wrapped her arm around us, pulling us together. We stayed like that for a long time, the swing gently moving back and forth like a cradle.

"Okay," Mama said softly, breaking the silence. "I think Kelly and I should go now. Solo, you have some calls to make."

The swing shifted as the two women got up. I watched them walk to the door, feeling as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Beyoncé was no longer my responsibility. I could leave, knowing she would be in good hands. But Sarayah...

I unlocked my phone and called Alan. He picked up immediately.

"Hey, beautiful," his deep voice came through the phone. I smiled at his eagerness.

"Wow, you must really miss me," I joked.

He chuckled on the other end. "I do. You know I do."

My smile slowly faded. I hated hearing him so upset. "I know, and I miss you just as much."

Alan sighed. "I doubt that. I'm dying over here without you." He paused. "You know I love your sister, and I love how supportive you are of each other, but when are you coming home? It's not the same here, or anywhere really, without you."

"Well, I have good news," I announced, trying to shake off my feelings of hesitancy.

"What?" He asked, skeptical.

"Sarayah came back today."

"Came back?"

I nodded as if he could see me. "Yeah, she left. It's a long story actually, but the point is she's back, and...well, I've been playing with this idea. I'm not sure if she'll go for it, but I was thinking that maybe we could–"

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS NIGGA DOING BACK IN MY HOUSE?!?" A voice shouted from inside, undoubtedly Beyoncé's.

I snapped my head back. "I have to go, baby. I'll call you back later."

"Okay, I love you."

"Love you too," I said and hung up.

I got up and ran into the house. Beyoncé was standing on the stairs, enraged. I followed her eyeline to Jay, who was standing in the doorway with a large suitcase behind him. Kelly and Michelle walked over to stand in front of Bey, all the while making soothing motions as if she was a wild animal. Bey however, looked ready to run over both of them to strangle Jay. Honestly, I wanted to choke him too, but I knew we couldn't both fly off the rails.