A Mother's Bond

19

Sarayah  July 6th, 2016
I pushed Solo off me and walked to the window, angrily wiping my tears away. I hated crying in front of people I didn’t fully trust. It left me vulnerable. Better to be angry than weak.

I felt Solo standing beside me. I sighed. I could practically feel the lecture radiating off her.

She put her hand on my shoulder. “I’m sure she didn’t mean that. She was just angry. I think both of you just need to cool off for a while.”

I frowned at the floor. “She took my phone. That was the last connection I had to my old life, and she just took it.”

Solo squeezed my shoulder. “She’s just doing what she thinks is best. She’ll get you a new phone, and you can keep in contact with your friends.”

I blinked back tears. “Can I be alone right now?”

“Ok, but if you need to talk, I’m always here. I love you no matter what. You know that, right?” She asked, peering into my eyes.

I nodded. She pulled me into a long hug then kissed my cheek before walking out.

So much for getting Beyoncé to trust me. Being nice to her was useless. She would always treat me like an outsider, never fully letting me in. I clenched my fists. And she wondered why I wanted to leave. I blinked back tears, thinking about earlier. I had actually been enjoying my day with them, letting my guard down. It wasn’t an act. For a while I thought I could belong, be a part of their family. I was such an idiot.

I paced the room, pausing every once in a while to glare at the door. If they thought for even one second that I was coming out to play nice, they could kiss my ass. I sat heavily down on my bed.

“Great. Now I don’t even have a phone to distract me.”

I looked around the bare room. “You would think these rich assholes could have gotten me a laptop or some shit.” I mentally cursed myself for not having the foresight to ask to go to an electronics store.

I lay back on my bed and pulled out the ripped photo from my pocket. I always kept it close to me. I held the picture to my forehead, trying to calm myself down. After a few hours I started drifting off.

“Mama, look! It’s Mr. Socks!” I shouted, excitedly running towards a rack of stuffed animals.

I looked up at him. “We need to get him. I can’t leave him behind.”

Mama looked down at me, smiling with a strange, unreadable expression. She picked up the monkey and sighed.

“Will this really make you happy?” She asked, looking at me skeptically.

I nodded enthusiastically. “YES! He’ll be my best friend.”

She laughed and went up the register. She handed it to me as she payed for it. I jumped up and grabbed it, hugging it tightly to my chest. I wouldn’t lose him again.

I felt something heavy land on my back. I woke with a start. I quickly rolled over to see Blue grinning down at me.

“Aunty Solo said breakfast is ready.”
I scrunched my face up. I looked down at my wrinkled clothes and realized that I slept through the evening and night. I turned back to Blue.

“Tell Aunty Solo that I’ll get my own breakfast later.”

16 hours wasn’t enough to make me forget how much I hated Beyoncé. I knew Solo was trying to thaw the ice between us by inviting me to breakfast.

Blue frowned. “No, she told me to tell you pacifically–”

“Specifically,” I corrected.