A Mother's Bond

37

Ok, so another warning. This isn't that graphic. Mostly disturbing, I'd say. Read at your own risk. Or don't. I'll have another chapter summary after this. So you can read that instead.

Sarayah September 10– September 30, 2016
I opened my eyes to blinding light. I squinted, shielding my eyes with my arm. For a few blissful moments I forgot where I was, what I'd been doing. It didn't last. I scrunched up my face at the memory, disgusted with myself. I sat in bed, shaking. After a few minutes I got up and walked over to my jeans, pulling out the little baggie. I popped a pill and shoved the bag back into my pocket.

I walked downstairs to find food. I made myself a bowl of cereal and sat at the table. A few minutes later Marion walked in and sat across from me. I nodded at him in acknowledgment. He looked me over.

"So, are they helping?"

I gave a short nod. "Yeah."

He scrunched his eyebrows together. "Did you take one this morning?"

I frowned. "Don't judge me."

He held up his hands. "I'm not. I just don't want you to overdo it."

"Let her do what she needs to do. She's got it." I turned around to see Alison leaning in the doorway.

"You slept for a long time, Ray, and time is money. You're booked solid today so hurry up with that.

I looked down at my cereal, swirling my spoon to make a little whirlpool. I sighed and pushed it aside.

"I'm ready."

I fell into a pattern over the next few weeks. Wake up. Take a pill. Eat. Take a pill. Work. Take a pill. Work. Eat. Sleep. Well, sometimes I forgot to eat, but it was hard to keep your appetite. It didn't matter though because I was efficient. A machine. I limited myself to three pills a day, never going over. My highs became less potent. I didn't use them to feel happy, though. I used them not to feel, and they worked. It kept my brain low functioning, numbing me. By the time three weeks had passed, I'd accepted the mess that was my life.

I lay on the bed and stared at the ceiling, waiting for the last client of the day. I considered wearing one of Alison's lingerie sets. Sometimes I put one on to speed along the process. Especially near the end of the day when my high was wearing off. I mulled the idea over for a few seconds before jumping off the bed and throwing on Alison's favorite black lace set. I'd just finished adjusting the straps when the door opened. I expected a man, but instead I got Alison. I put on her silk kimono robe, watching her curiously. I sat down on the bed.

"Did he cancel?" I asked hopefully. Lord knew I could use a night off.

Alison shook her head. "He just asked for a little extra."

I raised an eyebrow, making myself comfortable on the bed. "A little extra? Well, I'm already wearing lingerie, is that enough? Because I'm not gonna put makeup on to take it off in five minutes."

"Sarayah," Alison started, trying to get my attention.

I tried to pose seductively. "I could do a little 'come here' act," I muttered distractedly. "Yeah, I could that. Honestly, I don't really care at this point. I just wanna sleep."

Alison licked her lips nervously. "Sarayah. It's time."

"For what?" I asked absently, still trying to maximize my sensuality. The sooner this was over, the better. When Alison didn't answer, I looked over at her.

"Time for what?" I asked again, impatient.

Alison avoided my eyes. I watched her in silence. After a few seconds, I looked up at the ceiling, trying not to cry. "No."