A Mother's Bond

61

Beyoncé  November 10, 2016
I rolled over in bed, looking at Jay. I'd been letting him stay in my room for the past few nights. Don't get me wrong, I was still taking things slow. But I couldn't deny the comfort I felt when he slept next to me, or the butterflies that erupted in my stomach whenever he'd reach over in his sleep and pull me closer to him. Despite everything that had happened between us, he was still my peace, my sanctuary.

Light from the window above our bed peeked through our curtains, haloing his face. My fingers gently traced the freckles scattered across his cheeks, connecting them in an intricate pattern only I could see. His eyes fluttered open, glassy for a moment before they focused on my face. He smiled sleepily at me. I smiled back, instinctively moving my hand to his ear to play with his earlobe.

"Morning," he yawned, stretching.

I wrinkled my nose at his breath.

Jay chuckled at my reaction. "What? You don't like my breath in your face?"

I shook my head, my face scrunched up. "Uh-uh."

"No?" He asked, grinning. He grabbed my jaw, pushing his face in mine before blowing a puff of air straight into my nose.

"Ugh, Jay! Gross!" I laughed, pulling out of his grasp.

He didn't let me get far, quickly grabbing the collar of my shirt to pull me back into him. His lips pressed against mine, soft as pillows. My hand reached up to cup his face, deepening the kiss. Just as quickly as it started, it was over. And all too soon, he was pulling away from me. He gave me a knowing smirk before getting out of bed.

"I'll wake Blue up," he casually called over his shoulder.

I watched him walk out of the room, a dazed expression on my face, my lips tingling from his touch. Jay knew his strengths, and he definitely played to them. There was something so sexy about his confidence, his assurance. No matter what I said to him, he never once doubted that we'd end up together. Maybe it was because of my own doubts and worries that I was so attracted to that side of him. I felt like I was still right in the middle of our story, and anything could happen. Jay, on the other hand, acted as if he'd already read the ending. Even though I knew he didn't really know our future, it gave me a sense of security knowing he felt like he did.

I allowed myself a second to revel in the moment before sliding out of bed and trudging to my bathroom. I couldn't afford to lounge around. Today, we'd be going to visit Sarayah for the first time. I was trying to stay positive, but honestly, I was scared. Sarayah and I were notorious for our bipolar relationship. One second we were all smiles and jokes, and the next we were trying to kill each other.

The day we checked Sarayah in, we had such a nice moment. I left feeling full. Like my life was finally coming together. But when she called me that night, it was different. Her vulnerability was gone. On the surface, she'd opened up to me. But in her heart she was shutting me out.

I groaned in frustration, putting my toothbrush back in its holder with more force than necessary. Why did everything have to be so damn complicated? Why couldn't a visit just be a damn visit?

As I walked downstairs, the sound of Blue's cheerful voice drifted up to me. I smiled, following it to the kitchen. Blue and Jay were sitting at the table, already started on their breakfast.

I went over to Blue, kissing her forehead. She paused her relentless chatter to say a quick 'hi Mommy' before diving back in.

"Your breakfast is in the fridge," Jay said, interrupting Blue. I smiled gratefully.

"Daddy," Blue whined. "I'm talking."

He laughed. "I'm sorry, Blue. Please continue."

She looked him over, shaking her head. "Anyways, I think you should get me new toys, because 'Rayah's gonna need some toys and if I give her all of my toys then I won't have any toys and then I wouldn't have anything to play with and then what?"