The Remembering (Alex Gaskarth Fanfiction)

37. Home

     Finally, he looked at me, dead straight in the eye, not looking amused at all.

  “Why do you ask?”

     “It’s a simple question. Answer it.” I pushed further, ignoring his inquiry.

    He groaned while rubbing his eyes harshly while I continually glared at him.

   "Yes, Laila. Now drop it.” He angrily hissed.

     There was no way in hell I was going to drop it, not over my dead body. I had too many questions that needed to be answered to just ‘drop it’.

     “Why didn’t you or dad tell me this? Huh?” I spat. My hands foiled into a fist while I sat in my seat. My heart stung from the truth. Actually hearing it from Derek was more painful than I prepared myself for.

    “There are some things that can’t be answered in this damn world! Just fucking drop it.” He snapped with his teeth gritted. His face was boiling red and his knuckles were turning blanch while they held the steering wheel tightly.

    I gulped from his angry fiery, maybe this was bad timing to dig into something like this.

       Thankfully, the traffic began to start moving frequently and without any trouble. Derek, who had not a single bone lose in his body, didn't say another word. I take notice of his recent haircut, giving me a visual of his neck...which led me to the spotting out a purple bruise. Quickly, I looked way, realizing that it was more than just a bruise, and probably from a certain someone that I wish I didn't have to be acquaintance with.

     Knowing that Derek and Caleb were much more than a relationship, but rather a physical one, made my stomach uneasy. Not only that, but now I knew the truth. Impulsive Control Disorder was a part of me, but certainly, it doesn't make who I am or what I am, it's just something I have to deal with on a daily basis.

      The thought of Jasey Rae and how much she looked like me was very much on my mind too. It was nearly insane when I saw the picture frame of her. It was like seeing me, but someone who was older and extremely prettier than me. It was as if we were stereotypical twins. I was the ugly one that no would talk to, the nerd, and weird one that had problems. She was the popular one that everyone liked and adored. She was the one that had all the boys chasing after her. She was better than me, and was first in Alex’s life, and I was the second one to come around.

    It sucked to feel like I was a replacement of her.

    Luckily and soon enough, Derek and I got home just enough time to not have him late for his class. I fixed myself a bowl of cereal and washed my teeth before I ate. Having the minty flavor in my mouth instead of my previous taste was refreshing, and helped with nourishing my body back to a regular state.

        Before long, I was in my room, doing absolutely nothing besides hanging upside down from my bed, and groaning.

        "Whyyyyy meeeee," I whined with my face casually turning to a light shade of red from my current position.

      I felt utterly stuck and trapped mentally. There were too many options and countless decisions that I had to face. There used to be a time before all of this, where I felt like I could handle everything, and maturely too. But now? Things seem to be falling down all at once, every day, every minute of the hour, and now, I was clueless and lost like a little boy who has lost his mother in the department store.

    At the same time of my thinking, an annoying short vibration had shaken my body. Briskly, I grasped my phone, which was the source of the problem.