Tales of the Broken

A Letter For My Twinsy

From: Anonymous

Dear Twinsy,

It's been three years or if not over three years since me and our other friends lost you. It was two days before valentine's day of 2016, I remember being told that the illness called Lupus took you from us while you were still studying in SDSU. I was at loss for words when i found out because the years before that when i dated my ex's best friend and you found out about it, all of us had a big fight and we all stopped talking to each other. That split our group apart into 3-4 different ones, i tried talking to you like normal back then but it wasn't the same. Eventually me and you stopped talking to each other and then out of nowhere you deleted me on facebook. The shit talking you did behind my back after me and Yami broke up was still in my head, i didn't forgive you for that because it hurts to know that someone like you would talk about me like that, but after a while i forgot about it and i forgave you.

After you deleted me, i assumed that you hated me so i became petty and i hated you back for what you did. I didn't talk to you for years and i was the one swallowing most of my pride. Sometimes i would ask about you but i dont remember what our friends said anymore regarding the matter of you being mad at me. They said you were doing well though, chasing your dreams in SDSU. i was happy for you, but I dont know what career you wanted to pursue but i always told you back then you should become a lawyer. Your good characteristics for winning or keeping arguments has always been better than anyone i knew.

I still remember those times where when we would attend our friend's holiday parties at her house i would always ask you to play the piano for me and you would always do so. I thought you were the greatest piano player since i never had anybody play a song for me and i certainly remember the time we first met back in college, you were a petite girl who shares the similar personality like me, we made fun of our friends alot back then as a joke and we would always click when it comes to jokes. I shared to you many of my problems and you always had my back. I also remember that time where me, you and three of our other friends went to the tennis court and we would just relax, and after we were done, you gave me a ride in your car and we would listen to our favorite songs on the animes we watched and we talk about life and the card games we always played. I still have a little bit of a clear picture of the neighborhood that we drove by that day, it was a beautiful afternoon.

All the memories i had with you are priceless and i would never forget it. I just wish i was a better friend to you. I am sorry i lost the dango daikazoku keychain you made for my birthday so many years ago. For the first time i never felt so horrible in losing a gift that would mean the most to me years later but i still remember what it looked like and everything. You always loved clannad, you showed me so many pictures of it and you were fond of Nagisa's daughter, Ushio. You always teased me how you had the autograph book because you loved the anime that much.

When i got back into gaming again and after i heard about your sad news, i made a new character on Elsword. I named it after you and the username that you always rocked. Yume Kairos. I won't ever change it and her pet was named after your real name. I talked to our ex (since we both dated him) about you, and he said he's sorry and he has so many regrets too. He wishes he wasnt such an asshole and just mended the friendship because it was important to him. He showed me the coin that you gave him many years ago as a memory of you. He said it keeps him very lucky and safe.

Twinsy, i know i have been a very bad friend to you for so many years. You did not deserve that, and i really do regret it. You passing away was the biggest pain that was inflicted upon me and i dont think i will ever heal from it because i never got to fix my mistakes now that you're gone. All i can do is just mourn consciously and subconsciously and think about what i could have done. I am so sorry and i hope you know that... I regret everything and if there's anything that i want to change in my life is to go back in time and say sorry to you about everything and mend our friendship. I wouldn't want it in any other way.... I am very sorry and know that you will always be in my heart... You are in a safe place now, and free from pain. I just wanted you to know i never forgot about you and i never will.

Maybe you will give me another chance if i meet up with you one day in heaven? I would very much like that. Until then, I will see you.

With Very Much Love,
Your Twinsy