i will always HATE you!

IWAHY 5

~Thirdy~

The next SocSci classes that we had were unusually.. peaceful. I don't know why. Suddenly it felt like in our classmates' eyes, there's no "us". Suddenly, all forgotten. Or ganun lang talaga sya ka charming that the moment she decided to stop liking something or someone, everyone else follows?

She still talks a lot, tho. Inaasar nya everyone but me.

I suddenly felt left out.

No. Hindi ko namimiss na I used to be her fave target sa pang-iinis.

It just felt different.

Though she is still annoying in my eyes, I admit Bea is always the nice girl. She talks to everyone. She always smiles even to strangers. She is very approachable. Kaya you won't be intimidated to approach her kahit hindi kayo personally magkakilala. And she is respectful even to the janitors that most of the students just ignore.

So I always wonder how come she never respects herself.

I've heard a lot of stories about her in the men's locker room. Some of the players' friends or friend of friends or cousin or orgmate or whatever, was once involved with her. I know it was wrong to judge her. But apparently, she has the most terrible taste in men. Men who brag how it was to be with her privately. And I hate that she's so dumb for choosing these men and that she doesn't seem to care how these men brag about their private activities. Buti na lang she isn't the biatch who looks down on people.. that's why people still find her loveable despite the chismis. Unlike the movies, Bea is never the mean girl nor she has them harassing her around.

In class whenever I say things, she would always come up with something to challenge my answer. But lately, she would refute everyone but me. I don't know if people noticed it, too.. but I certainly felt it. And that made me felt bad.

No. I don't miss her.

I mean I don't miss the things she used to do.. her pang-aasar and pambubully at my expense.

Really. My life is peaceful.

It just made me think how I must've really offended her.

I'm decided. After class, I'm going to approach her. I' gonna ask her about our plans for the final paper.. and then I'm going to say sorry. That's the plan.

When the bell rang, indicating that the class is over, I didn't get up from my seat agad. I had to make sure that most of our classmates were gone before I approach her. She's always one of the few people who linger in the classroom after class kasi it's her vacant period.. I think.

"Ravena!"

I was counting silently to muster up the courage to approach her when I was pulled out of my musings.

Bea is standing in front of me.

"What's that?" I asked her. She was holding a folder in front of my face.

"Research."

"Research of what?" I was confused.

"For our final paper.. duh!" She was rolling her eyes. I suddenly felt so dumb.

"Oh. Yeah. Of course."

"Those are clippings and news articles and some documentaries that we could use. Just read it. And then tell me if that's useful. Or if you need anything pa."

"Why?"

"Anong why? Do you want us to make separate paper? Kasi I wasn't informed yet. But okay. Okay lang naman sa'kin magsolo." And she grabbed the folder from my hand. And she was about to walk away.

"Isabel. Wait." Fu€k! What did I just call her? I really like her name Isabel Beatriz. But I shouldn't have called her that. Baka isipin nya na I have these fantasies calling her with that name.

"Bea. Nobody calls me Isabel. Especially someone not a friend." She said looking straight to my eyes. She looks intimidating when she's serious.

"Ok Bea. Look I'm sorry. I know we've started off on a wrong foot and I might have said a million things that offended you. No excuses. I'm sorry. I just don't get why you always want to pick a fight with me. And no. I'm not saying that we should make our final paper separately. I'm just surprised that you're giving that paper when we haven't talked yet on what we're going to do."

"Ulitin mo nga."

"Ang dami nun. Seryoso?"

"Yeah. The first part."

"I'm sorry?"

"Again."

"I'm sorry."

"Just wanna make sure na hindi imagination."

"I'm sorry. For everything I said.. sorry. There."

And then she smiled.

"Wala ka bang sakit? Like hindi ka pa ba mamamatay?" She suddenly asked and that sudden shift in her facial expression was funny. She looked worried.

"Seryoso ka ba?" I asked.

"Serious question yun."

And I laughed. And then she looked offended.

"Sorry." I said after a while. "Ang funny mo lang. Pano mo naman naisip na mamamatay na ako?" I was worried that I offended her but I can't stop laughing. Ang weird ng babaeng to.

"Kasi bigla kang bumait."

"Ouch." I touched my chest to show her that I was offended.

"Makaarte ka! Parang hindi ka mapanakit."

"I said sorry na nga di ba? And you hurt me, too. Hindi mo lang alam."

"Sorry." She said sincerely.

I smiled.

"So..?" Itinaas nya yun folder.

"I'll read that." I gestured for her to give the folder to me. And she handed it to me. "You could've emailed this to me na lang sana. Sayang ang paper oh."

"Malay ko ba kung pati sa email, naka block ako." She really is very straightforward.

"Ahhm.. I actually unblock you from everything. And.. I was planning to accept your invites in my social media accounts. But I didn't find any of it."

"Ni-cancel ko na." She said matter-of-factly.

"Ohhh.."

"So.. I better get going. Gutom na mga kasama ko. I actually told them na it won't take a while.. me talking to you."

"Okay. May practice pa rin ako. See you around?"

"See you."

And I watched her walk away. But this time, I was left with a light heart.