The Beauty & The Tragedy

We've Come A Long Way From Where We Began

I walked over to him and grabbed his hand. I could feel the slight tremor in his limbs as I led him outside onto the balcony. Fresh air always helped me calm down and I was hoping it might to the same for him. I wanted to help him, it hurt me to see him hurting and I understood his pain because it was also mine.

"I was just used to the way things were. This house is where I feel connected to her. It's all that's left of her you know?" He explained as we both stood there looking at the LA city line. "I know I sound stupid because it's just stuff, but it was her stuff and I wasn't expected to walk in and find you guys..."

"I have to." I interrupted him gently. "I'll go crazy if I don't."

"I know."

"I'm not getting rid of her, I'm just making room for everything else." I explained. "She will always be a part of me. Nothing changes that."

"I just miss her so much." He choked out before breaking down into sobs.

I immediately wrapped my arms around him. "Me too." I whispered through my own tears. "Me too."

He pulled away and wiped at his tears as he let out a long sigh. "Sorry." He said before pulling out a cigarette and lighting up. "I'm just having a bad day."

"Honestly." I said as I leaned against the balcony railing. "Me too."

"I just can't get used to this."

"I know." I sighed. "Me either. I was out the other day getting coffee and the entire time I just kept thinking about how we used to always go together. We'd get swarmed by paps and fans and she'd just smile and take pictures like it was normal. She's everywhere I go and everywhere we've ever been."

"I just....I don't know." He sighed. "She was that person I could talk to about anything. I miss that."

"Sometimes when I'm out, I'll hear someone laugh and it reminds me so much of her I'll hang around just to hear it again." I confessed.

"I'm really sorry Sel." He said glancing at me.

"It's not your fault."

"Still."

"I know."

He draped his arm over my shoulder and pulled me close. I could feel the exhaustion in his limbs as I settled against his sturdy frame. I missed Demi.

***

Album release day was huge. It also marked the beginning of their first world tour without Demi. It took them awhile to decide if they would find a new guitarist or have Matt play all the rhythm sections. In the end Joe decided it work better with another guitarist. The idea was to give him someone who could help with playing lead since he did a fair amount of vocals and some of the lead riffs were complicated.

They auditioned hundreds of people before finally settling on a friend of Lauren's. It was a mere coincidence that this person happened to be a female. Her name was Allison Hernandez and she was an amazing guitarist. She was the only person to walk into the room and pick up Demi's Flying V guitar without hesitating. At the time I thought maybe she didn't know, but afterwards she confirmed that she did.

Joe knew immediately that she was the one. She starting rehearsing with the band that day. The second she started, she made no attempt to replace Demi. She knew that wasn't something that could be done, instead she filled a hole that would otherwise be left empty. She was exactly what they needed. She played with passion and intensity and in all honesty, I think she reminded everyone of Demi. She had that fire and drive that everyone was drawn to.

They rehearsed for several weeks and before everyone knew it, it was opening night. Their was excitement and a sense of loss buzzing about the stadium as they waited for the stage to be set. The final opening band had finished and they were removing the last of their equipment.