One Year On - Thirty One (Oliver)

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Oliver

"No!" I cry out as Danny jumps at me. "Stop it."

Somehow, I just about manage to duck and miss his bite while raising my elbow up just hard enough to knock him to the ground. He falls and hits it hard, but it doesn't seem to slow him down.

Of course it doesn't. I know what I'm looking at here, even if I don't want to accept it.

"No, Danny." My words come out in a strangled whisper, filled with heartbreak. "No, not you as well. I can't lose you as well. Too many people are gone now, I can't lose you."

But he's back on his feet and charging at me, hungry for me. It's time for me to accept that this is no longer Danny, my best friend who has been through so much for me, who has tried to bring me back from the brink of despair a million times, even when it's seemed impossible and the rest of the world has given up hope on me...no, this is a monster instead.

"This is my fault." The guilt clings to me like a shadow on my chest that I don't think I will ever be able to shake off. "If only we stayed here, you would still be fine."

An unexpected tear leaks from my eye as I'm forced to shove him off me, to push him back to a pathetic heap on the ground. Already, the virus has stripped him of some of his strength. He's less of him and more of one of them.

"Is it me? Am I a curse? Is everyone close to me destined to die?"

I close my eyes for just a second, thinking about Katie. Never have I ever loved anyone like I do her. Never have I wanted to protect someone as much, but I keep failing, death continues to happen all around me.

Automatically my fingers curl around my gun in the holster around my waist and I remember once pressing the revolver to my head, wanting to end it all. That sensation creeps through me once more, only this time so much more has happened, so I'm frightened that I might cave and act on it.

My fingers shake, it might even be my whole body trembling as I pull my weapon out. This time, I kinda wish it was for me this time around because that would be easier than what I actually have to do.

"Sorry, Danny." He isn't in there anymore. At least I hope he isn't. His body has become a shell for the virus, he's a host and nothing more. "I don't want to do this."

But I caused this, I started it, so I have to be the one to end it.

I point the gun in his direction, watching helplessly as he shambles towards the barrel, towards his own death. Then, with my heart shattering into a million pieces, never to be repaired again, I pull the trigger.

It's over.

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