One Year On - Twenty (Alex)

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Alex

Me and Rachael don't know what to say to one another anymore. There are no words. What we've just been through, what we barely escaped, the information that we now have...it's all to much. I don't know what to think about any of it.

"What do we...?" I start, trying to squash the bone crushing silence, but Rachael grabs me hard and shuts me up.

"Shh," she hisses, with a real edge to her voice. "What's that?"

"Erm..." I strain my ears hard but I can't work out what she means. There's only the usual sounds surrounding us, the ones from camp life. Nothing to spark this reaction.

"It's a party, right? That sounds like a party?"

"Oh, the music and stuff?" I offer her a one shouldered shrug. "Yeah, I guess so. I know there's a lot of it going on, but I don't know who's involved..."

"We should go!" Her eyes are wild and desperate. "Don't you think?"

"Really?" I answer her cautiously. "I don't know if that's a good idea. After what we just heard."

"But that's exactly why we need to go. To forget all of that."

She shudders, remembering the evil words spoken by the 'good' people who have been running this place. It was me who convinced her to eavesdrop with me, me who suspected, and look what I've done to her. She looks ruined. I feel terrible, I need to find the right words to make this okay again.

But it's too late. Rachael has hold of my arm and she drags me along. There's only one thing I can think of that will make any difference. It's something that I've wanted to do for ages, a thought that I've clung to for far too long, just waiting for the right moment, and this definitely isn't it. This isn't magical, or sweet, or romantic. It's desperate and in reaction to so many things. Too many to even count.

But I don't have any choice. It's now or never.

Without giving myself even a second to talk myself out of it, I spin her around and tug until her body crashes against mine. Racheal tries to say something breathlessly to me but it's too late. My lips find hers and finally, everything feels perfect.

The kiss starts off slow and hesitant, but every cell in my body explodes under the weight of it anyway. It's better than anything I ever could have hoped for. I have dreamed about this moment, but I never imagined that she would make me tingle all over, that my chest would heat up ith warmth, and that I would have so many butterflies everywhere...

Then it heats up, it becomes more passionate and needy. Her hands are all twisted up in my hair, and mine have circled her waist. The world melts away as we become just one person and I know with utter certainty that this was the right thing to do because I have changed everything.

Life will be so much better now.

Well, that is until Rachael pulls away and she grins at me. "Come on, let's go inside."

I sink. She still wants to go to this party.

Nothing has changed at all.

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