Supernatural BSM Imagines

All I Want

Hey guys! So...this is a sad chapter, so there's your warning. You're 23 in this! Set in the newer seasons. Gabriel is alive in this because if you've read my other chapters, he always is.

All I want is nothing more than to hear you knocking at my door.

It's been three weeks since Sam and Dean died. They died trying to save you, and Cas wasn't there to help. They died at the hands of a black eyed son of a bitch. Micheal sent them. You weren't expecting them and Cas was in heaven.

Everyone has been calling you, asking how you're doing. You're not doing anything and you don't answer very often. You answer Cas, Gabe, Jack, and sometimes mom. You're not mad at anyone, you're mad at yourself. You could have saved them.

Dean used to tell you that when him and Sam are gone, they don't want you to suffer and they want you to quit being a hunter. You can't give up hunting it's just who you are, but you are suffering. Sam and Dean raised you, they were your brothers and your mom and dad. They were your life. You don't know how to function without them.

Everything seems fuzzy and in black and white these days. You've cried, but only when you're alone. Every day is the same. Every empty room in the bunker haunts you. Every apple pie you see haunts you. Every lore book haunts you. Everything that Sam and Dean were haunts you.

You walk through the bunker and see a box sitting on the table. There's a note on it from Cas.

Hey Y/N, I know you're going through a lot right now, but Sam and Dean told me to give these to you if they ever passed away. I love you Y/N, if you need me, I'm here- Cas.

You open the box to see old VHS tapes and CDs. Each of them are labeled with what the tape contains. No one is in the bunker, so you make sure all of the doors are locked and you go into the living room where the tape player is. You always wandered why Sam kept onto it. You take everything out of the box and you find read all of the tapes and cds. There's about 20 of them. You pick one up and put it in the player.

At uncle Bobby's and watching cartoons with Y/N-

"Hey Dean! Look what Bobby gave me!" A young Sam says and a young Dean looks up at him from the tv. They're so young.
"That's cool Sammy, how about you sit and watch tv with us?" Little Dean asks and little Sam sits down.
"Say hi Y/N" Little Sam says and points the camera at you. You're so little! You had to be about five or six there.
"Hi Sammy! I love you Sammy" Little you says and you feel tears sting your eyes. You knew you would cry. The video cuts out, then it comes back on.
"Dean loves his little sister don't you Dean?" Little Sam asks and Dean nods. Little you is sleeping with your head resting against his shoulder.
"Course I do, I love both of my little siblings" Little Dean says and reaches over to ruffle little Sam's hair.
"Okay, go do your homework, dad will be here to get us soon" Little Dean says and the tape ends. You miss them so much.

You watch a couple of them and end up in a puddle of your own tears. You can't go on without them. You stop watching them for tonight, you could only watch five of them. Your phone starts to ring and you see that it's Jack. Jack, mom, and Cas are on a hunt in South Carolina right now.

"Hey Jack" You answer and sniffle.
"Are you okay?" Jack asks and you can tell you're on speaker.
"Yeah I'm okay Jack, just another rough day" You say softly and you hear other people whispering.
"Thanks for the box Cas, I appreciate it" You say and everything grows quiet.
"You're welcome" Cas says.
"You know they love you Y/N, they would give anything to be with you" Cas says and you clench your fists.
"Yeah I know. Listen I have to go, I have laundry to do" You say and hang up.

If you loved me, why'd you leave me?

You go straight to your room and you force yourself to sleep.

The next day-

Today you want to finish the videos. You had nightmares all night so you didn't really sleep. You wake up to a couple messages from mom, Cas, and Gabe.

Mary: Hey Y/N, how are you doing today? I know it's hard, but they were my sons. I miss them just as much as you do. Call me soon.

Y/N: Hey mom. Just surviving I guess. Yeah I know it's hard, but they were way more to me. They weren't just my brothers. They were my rocks, and they were the only reason I'm still here.

The Best Archangel: Hey little one. Hope you're doing okay. I need to tell you something, but it's better in person, so just pray whenever :)

Y/N: Hey Gabe, I will. I'm okay :/

Cassie: Do you need anything? Give me a call if you do. Love you.

Y/N: No I'm good, love you too.

You sigh and look up at your ceiling. You just hope they're happy in heaven.

"Hey Gabe, what did you want to tell me?" You ask out loud and he appears in your room. You're still in pajamas, you found one of Dean's old t-shirts and it's your new favorite thing.
"Hey kiddo, you look terrible" Gabe says and you huff.
"Well Gabe I'm having a hard time sleeping" You say and he leads you out to the center of the bunker. Gabe holds out a piece of paper and you take it from him.
"Dean wanted you to have this. Sam wanted you to have this" Gabe says and you look up from the paper to see Gabe holding out Dean's necklace (samulet) and Sam's bracelet you made him. He never took it off. Dean just started wearing his necklace again. You take them from Gabe and then put them on.

You unfold the paper and read the messy writing.

Hey sweetie. This is so hard for me and Sammy to do. Just know that we're okay and we're happy. We miss you so much and we are so proud of you. This is pretty much the only way we can talk to you, so we'll give you letters from time to time. I hope you like the tapes, I've been saving them. Please don't blame yourself. It wasn't your fault. I hope you like your gift. I love you so much Y/N, never forget that- Dean

Hey Y/N, Gabe refuses to tell us how you're doing, so I'm thinking not so good. Trust me, this will get better. You know that we are at peace, you know that we are happy. We are okay, we just miss you a lot. If you ever and I mean ever need me or Dean you pray to Gabe and he will get us to you. I promise. I love you Y/N. I talked to Dean and he said it was okay for you to get a dog- Sam

You reread over the messages again and you pull Gabriel into a hug.

"Thank you Gabe" You say through your tears. You started crying before you even finished Dean's message. Gabe holds you and he rubs your back while you cry. You trust Gabe, so you can cry in front of him.
"I know this sucks sugar, but you have to keep going" Gabe says and you nod.
"It's just too hard. I'm not me without them. They're all I had" You cry and Gabe rests his chin on your head.
"I have to go now. Do you want to write something down for them?" Gabe asks and you nod. You find a piece of paper and start writing through your tears.

Hey boys, I'm doing okay, just struggling to sleep. It's hard not seeing you guys everyday. It's hard not coming to Sammy and Dean for nightmare help. Fuck guys, I miss you so much. I can't bare to see mom, Cas, or jack anymore because they always bring up you guys. Why can't you come back to me? Why did you leave me? Just please, for the love of god, please never stop writing me. I love you guys- your baby sister.

You wipe your tears angrily and hand the piece of paper to Gabe. Gabe disappears and you take the note to your room. You put it in a safe place and then you go to the living room to watch the rest of the tapes.

They leave you crying again, but you're mostly laughing now. You laugh and smile at all of the good times you and your brothers had. You really miss them. You plan to go to the animal shelter tomorrow and adopt a dog so you're not alone anymore.

Hey guys! I know this is short but I just wanted to get something up! I'll edit this later. I hope you guys like this and don't forget to comment and vote on it if you do. I love you guys! Always keep fighting ❤️