Romanogers Stories

When the Party's Over

A/N: I had heard this song before, but didn't know the lyrics. So I decided to watch a lyric video, and I started crying. It's such an emotional song, and I immediately knew I wanted to make a chapter with it.

So...a little warning. It's a heartbreaker. 

Don't you know I'm no good for you?

She's hurt too many people. She's betrayed her family, her friends. If she ever even had any. She was always a loner. It was the way she was trained. It was how she knew to survive. 

He was everything she wasn't. Light. An icon for the people. Someone people could count on to save them. 

She was the shadow in the night. Quiet. Deadly.

She wasn't what he needed. She wasn't what he deserved. 

She didn't deserve anyone.

I've learned to lose you, can't afford to

But, she fell for him anyway, despite everything. And he for her. He always said she wasn't what she'd grown up to be. She had changed, and he enjoyed seeing her grow out of the shell she'd been forced into as a little girl.

She let herself open up to him, unlike she had with anyone else. He was the only one she trusted with her story. He wouldn't pity her. Not like the others would.

She let him take hold of her heart, to keep it safe, protected, like no one else could ever do.

If something happened to him, she wouldn't be able to go on.

Tore my shirt to stop you bleedin'

They would always take care of each other when they were hurt. Or if their demons overpowered them. Or if they just needed someone there, so they wouldn't be alone.

But when he was lying in the dust, bleeding heavily, she ripped part of her uniform to press it against his wounds, praying to God he would live, though she wasn't religious. Tears poured from her eyes as she fought for him, the battle long forgotten.

She could feel his pulse weakening, and with every beat of his heart, hers slowly began to crack open. She was bleeding from the inside.

But nothin' ever stops you leavin'

As he took his final breath, her heart shattered. Her body shook uncontrollably as sobs wracked her petite frame. Her heart was gone. Everything she'd grown to be, was gone.

He had promised he would protect her. And she had promised him the same.

If only she had gotten there sooner...

Quiet when I'm coming home and I'm on my own

She fought against the arms that pulled her away from his body. She couldn't part with him. 

She couldn't be alone. Not anymore. Her demons were too great to be shouldered by herself.

Despite having the rest of them beside her that night, she never felt more alone.

I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that

She loved to be alone.

It was always easier that way.

I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that

But now, it was just a reminder of what she used to be.

Don't you know too much already?

She had hidden away from him in the beginning. Every time she told him something new, she would run away because she was ashamed. And she hated being vulnerable. It wasn't in her nature.

But he showed her that vulnerability wasn't a weakness, and he began to open up about his own past to help her come to terms with her own.

I'll only hurt you if you let me

She knew he liked her, but she kept him at a distance. She couldn't subject him to the horrors of her life, though he'd heard several of them by this point.

She knew nothing good could come of them being together.

If anything, she'd hurt him, and she couldn't let herself do that to him.

Call me friend but keep me closer (call me back)

She kept him close as a friend, knowing he wanted more.

He wanted her to trust him fully. To not be afraid of love and what it entailed. 

He knew her past skewed her belief of the term, but he was willing to fight as long as it took for her to accept it.

And now, she wished she hadn't waited so long. That she hadn't been so scared of love. She cursed her demons. She cursed her past, everything that made her who she was. 

She cursed him for leaving her. 

And herself for letting it go so far...

...when she knew it wouldn't last.

And I'll call you when the party's over

She cried for him in her sleep, as her demons wrapped around her as tightly as the blankets she'd cowered under.

But he never came. And he never would.

Quiet when I'm coming home and I'm on my own

Now, she hated the quiet. She hated the noise. It was hard for her to differentiate between the two. He had always been able to soothe the thoughts that ran through her troubled mind.

Now they had all the more reason to haunt her.

And I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that

Yes, she used to love it on her own.

And she could pretend she was alright, but it used too much of her energy.

Yeah, I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that

She wanted to give in, to stop fighting. The pain and loneliness was beyond anything she had ever felt before.

It would be easy.

But when did she ever do easy?