Past and Present // Kakashi Fic

35.***

[A/N - I'm back bitches. It's been a while. I've been sorting through lots of personal stuff (still not done) but I stumbled across my unfinished fic and decided to keep it going. Let me know your thoughts! xx]

I made my way back home alone. Kakashi told me that he was going to stop by the market on his way home to pick up some food, but I just wanted to get home so I went on ahead. I still couldn't shake this feeling in my stomach which had been following me all day.

Thoughts were swarming my brain. Pulling me this way and that. It was hard for me to focus on just one thing.

Why was I even doing this to myself? To Kakashi? To our babies? What was I trying to prove by going on this mission? It's dangerous, especially when you're pregnant.

But on the other hand, why should I have to give up the thing I worked so hard towards? To be a Shinobi in the Hidden Leaf is the only thing I ever aspired to be. To follow in my brother's footsteps and protect our village.

The more I listened to myself, the more confused and frustrated I became. Before I knew it, I was staring at the front door to the apartment. I stared at the key in my hand, becoming lost in my thoughts once again.

To follow in my brother's footsteps... He put the village above his parental duties and because of that Naruto grew up without a mother or father. Is that what I want for my children? To never know who their mother is? Is that what I want for Kakashi, to have to raise our children alone?

What do I want? I don't know. I don't know what I want. I thought I knew what I want but I was just pretending. Pretending to know what it means to be a Shinobi. Pretending to know what it means to be in love. Pretending to know what it means to be a friend. A comrade... A mother.

The truth is, I don't know.

As I stepped over the threshold, the air around me began to get very heavy and humid. My eyes became unfocused, with black spots like static covering my field of vision. An intense pressure built up in my ears, my throat, my temples, almost like my head was in a vice. What was happening? I stumbled forward, hitting my arm on the kitchen counter as I slowly slide down the counter door towards the floor.

That's when I felt it.

A strong force in my stomach. A strange sensation, an immense amount of chakra, unfamiliar chakra. Pushing and pushing. The chakra was not evil, or aggressive, it was soft, almost ... child-like. Could this be them? I moved my hand to my stomach. It was warm, like I had been laying in full sun.

A sharp pain ripped through my left side.

"Argh!" This was too much chakra. Even for me.

At this point my body had been drained of all energy. Please. Please stop this.

A few moments passed, and my eyes came back into focus, the pain my left side subsided. I opened my eyes to see that I was still on the kitchen floor. I dug my nails into the palms of my hands so hard that blood was streaming down my fingers. But that was not all that I saw. I looked further down and I felt my heart drop for a second before it started racing and pounding so hard that I could hear it in my ears.

Blood.

But not from my hands. This blood was coming from somewhere else. I could see the growing red stain on the front of my pants. This couldn't be happening. I could feel my eyes growing hotter as tears started to fall down my cheeks. There was a lump in my throat and my legs were shaking as I pulled myself to my feet, using the counter for support.

I looked around the room, everything was where I had left it. Which meant that Kakashi had not made it back from the market yet. I felt more nervous than I ever had in my life. All I knew was that I needed to get to the hospital. My legs started to give way which is when I heard the door open.