Chapter thirteen: One step out the closet

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𝙊𝙣𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙥 𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙚𝙩

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𝙊𝙣𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙥 𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙚𝙩

"Are you sleeping with Alex Montgomery?" is the first thing Sofia asks me when I pull into our school parking lot.

I choke on the air and turn to look at her with wide eyes. My mouth drops open, but nothing comes out. What on Earth makes her think that? Am I sleeping with— what?? Why would she think that I'm— huh???

I am reminded that I am holding a cup of to-go coffee that I absentmindedly picked up once I had parked when my fist tries to tighten.

"You are, aren't you?" My sister looks at me with hopeful eyes. However, when I don't answer and continue to stare at her with a blank expression on my face, it changes to a glare. "You were eye-fucking all evening when he came over for dinner last week, then when we all went out for that stupid walk we were forced to do, you took him straight upstairs. I saw it because I came back in to get my phone. You had sex with him that night, didn't you?"

I finally recover from the initial shock and say something. "What?" I almost yell, pulling a disapproving look. "Just because we went upstairs doesn't mean we had sex. I do not like him like that, are you stupid—"

She cuts me off, "Whenever I see you pass him in the hallways I always notice you smile at him the tiniest bit, it's disgusting. Every time his name pops up on your phone, you light up. Tell me, is this tutoring thing just an excuse so you can fuck or something?"

First Cami, now her. Great.

At least when she said the word 'disgusting' it was lighthearted. I already know that she's not homophobic because of her tangible support for the lgbt community that I have seen, although there have been people who I've come across that say they support these people, then when someone they know comes out, they do a full 180 on them. I'm going to base Sofia's views off of her tone, which is not at all with malice. Innocent until proven guilty, right?

An image of Alex and me kissing pops into my head due to her mentioning us having sex. I don't cringe, and that shocks me. I close my eyes and press my fingers to my lips. I bet he's a good kisser, what with all his experience. I wonder what it would be like to kiss him.

I snap my eyes open when I realise my thoughts.

"I do not light up!" I exclaim disbelievingly, trying to shed any feelings of what I just thought. "What do you mean? What makes you think I like guys anyway?"

But what I am implying isn't true. I do like guys. I'm pretty sure I do anyway. Only, am I ready to admit that to someone as of now when I'm only just beginning to accept it myself? I don't even know my actual sexuality yet.

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