Wabasta | Complete ✔

Chapter 15

It was one of those days again. She woke up feeling like death was lurking around her. Sweaty palms, shivering legs, and a throbbing headache. The lights in the room were dim. She had placed a lamp beside her bed that she would keep on for the night. She couldn't sleep in darkness, not anymore.

Firdaus pulled herself up fro the bed, rubbing her temples very hard. The voices in her head were back. Not that they ever went away, not fully atleast. It was an overwhelming sense of weakness, both physical and mental. She grasped the edge of the bed because she felt like she was about to fall, even while sitting. Her eyes were red and teary, her vision – blurred. For a moment she thought her ribs were crushing under the pressure building up in her chest. There was pain, a lot of pain.

Those were the moments when she felt compelled to go back to the hell everyone, including herself had been fighting to get her out from. Shagufta had thrown away all the bottles of pills, all except one. one bottle that she had kept hidden away from her mother's sight. She did not want to use it, but it was meant for situations like this when either she took them and relieved herself or she collapsed under the boulder of pain and misery. Despite all resistance, the voices in her head told her to reach out for them.

'Just one, one won't make you an addict. One won't change your life. It will make the pain go away.'

She wanted to scream. Tell them to stop but she couldn't. They were so deep inside her head that she couldn't even reach them. Firdaus pushed herself up and reached for the bottle that was kept behind a pile of books in the cupboard below the study table. Her hands were shaking but she kept her hold on it firm.

'It's just a medicine,' they said, 'it will do no harm.'

Her judgment was clouded by her pain. She gently opened the door of her room and took a peek outside. No one. Sneaking out of the room, she went into the kitchen and frantically looked for a glass.

Everything in front of her was such a blur that she never saw him coming. It was only when Zaitoon khala's voice rang in her ears that she looked up and looked behind to see Aman standing near the counter with his eyes fixated on her.

"Paani ki botal udher hi rakhe hai beta." Zaitoon's voice was coming from the dining room. But by then none of them heard what she said. Firdaus felt like she could melt in front of his hard stare any minute. Aman did not look away even for a second. There was no expression on his face, but it was till enough to tell her what was going on in his mind.

"Good morning. Breakfast dhoodne ayi ho?"

"Nahi. Main...main paani peene ayi thi." Firdaus fumbled. She hid the bottle behind her trying to look as inconspicuous as possible.

"Achha. Chalo theek hai, uth gayi ho toh achha hai. Ek saath breakfast karte hai. Main yahan ke sabse famous dhabe se halwa poori le kar aya tha. Chalo, dining table par sab tumhara intezar kar rahe hai."

"Um, it's okay. Tum log khao. Mujhe abhi bhook nahi hai."

He didn't respond, instead he kept staring at her with a blank face. She tried to quickly brush past him, but stopped shortly when she felt her hand in his grasp.

"Theek hai, baad mein khaa lena. But leave the pills here."

She widened her eyes, she couldn't turn around and look straight at him.

"P-pills? Maine kaha na main sirf paani peene ayi thi." There was tremor in her voice.

Aman pulled her closer and opened her clenched fist with his other hand, taking out the small botlle out of them.

"Jhooth toh tumhe aaj bhi bolna nahi aata."

Firdaus let out a deep breath and slowly turned to face him. She knew she had a lecture coming her way.

"Kyun karti ho aisa? Doctor ne uss din tumse saaf saaf kaha tha. If you take any more of these you could die." She finally found the courage to look up at him.

"Then let me die. Roz roz marne se toh ek hi baar mein mar jana behtar hai."

This time the look on Aman's face had changed. There was anger in his eyes.

"Marna chahti ho tum? Fine."

And without another word he dropped the bottle on the counter and started pulling her out of the kitchen. Firdaus tried to resist but couldn't. His grasp was too strong.

He kept pulling her with him, first they walked out the kitchen then the main door. Zaitoon and Shagufta who were seated at the dining table watched them in disbelief. Zaitoon got up to go after them but Shagufta stopped her from interfering. She had an intuition of what Aman was about to do. And she didn't want to stop him.

'Seedhe ungli se ghee na nikle toh ungli tedhi karni parti hai.'  His voice rang in her ears.

Aman and Firdaus were now in the lift. Firdaus kept on asking him where he was taking her but he was as silent as a rock. She didn't even try to fight back now. She was physically too weak and Aman's intentions were stronger than she could've thought. It took them a minute or so, to reach the terrace. Aman pushed the gate open and pulled her near the railing. There was a corner where the railing was lower than the rest. In one swift motion, Aman pulled her hand and made her stand up there. What he did was so unexpected that Firdaus did not even get the time to react. Witihin the matter of seconds she was standing at the edge of a terrace railing, looking down at the street 6 storeys below her. She was too dumbfounded to even utter a word.

"Marna chahti ho na? Kud jao yahan se. You'll be gone before you know it."

Her entire body was trembling. Tears were running down her eyes constantly and in a broken voice she pleaded to him.

"A-a-aman please, please mujhe neeche utaro!"

Aman raised his voice. He was standing right behind her, still holding her hand firmly. "Ab kyun darr lag raha hai tumhe? I thought you wanted to die."

"No I don't!" her voice was raspy but this time it was louder. "GET ME DOWN, NOW!"

Within an instant he pulled her back and she fell into his arms. It took him only that much time to realize how frail she had become. Her eyes were closed shut. It seemed like she was paralyzed with fear. Aman quickly put her down onto her feet. The moment her feet touched the ground she threw her arms around him and wrapped them tightly, clenching onto his shirt. It had become difficult to breathe in between her sobs. Her eyes were still closed.

Aman held her tight in his arms, he wasn't going to let go. He stroked her hair and tried to calm her down.

"I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry."

They stood like so for the next few minutes, close enough to feel each other's heart beat. Everything stood still, as if time had stopped itself to allow them to be in this moment. But like every happiness of theirs, even that was momentary.

When Firdaus realized what was happening, she slowly pushed herself away from his embrace. Her eyes were still in shock. They couldn't make contact with his, that were now looking at her ardently. She sucked in a few sharp breaths and revived herself, wiping away the streak of tears from her cheeks. There was nothing she had to say. Taking a further few steps back, she turned around and ran towards the door of the terrace, disappearing into the corner while Aman stood there and watched.  

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Here's a little glimpse from the next chapter ;)

"I know what you've been through in the past few years, and–"

"No you don't. You don't know what I've been through at all. Kaise pata hoga tumhe? Tum toh yahan the hi nahi."

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