Sunlight {Levi x Fem!Reader} [COMPLETE]

38: Unapologetic Beauty

  A/N: I hope everyone is having a good day/afternoon/evening! Nothing much to talk about once again, so I'll just say that I've dedicated this chapter to 'Yellow' by Coldplay. I know, I know, super cheesy, but I honestly think this song is absolutely perfect to describe everything in this chapter, especially the emotions that Levi and Y/N feel about each other.

*THIS CHAPTER DISCUSSES A BRIEF MENTION OF RAPE AND HAS DEPRESSIVE/DIS-ASSOCIATIVE THEMES*

  Levi and yourself had spent the evening together in the forest. The feeling of being around him was refreshing; calming. You could feel yourself becoming dependent on the feelings you had, as well as the time you had spent with Levi. The idea that you were pregnant due to being raped for years, by unknown, despicable and vile men was unshakably the most unsettling thing you had ever heard. The fact that after all the years and numbers of randoms coming and going as they pleased left you to know that even if you wanted to, you would never figure out who the father was. The thought made you sick to your stomach.
  "Out of everything I was put through and everything I witnessed over the years, this, without a doubt takes the cake for sure." You spoke with a light heart, not wanting to engage too much in emotion over the topic. It scared you that things wouldn't end.
  "I should've known that this was a definite thing." You continued. Levi looked over at you.
  "What was?" He questioned, you knew he wouldn't be able to contain his inquisitive nature.
  "That I'm meant to suffer in any way possible until I die." You admitted without hesitation. Levi stopped, dead in his tracks. You knew he would be upset by your words, but you didn't really expect him to stop all of his movements at once. You stopped as well. You were standing ahead of him and watched him as he stood before you in silence. You became wary.
  "I admit that with the information you were given that you're right to believe that. I for one think that what you believe isn't true." Levi mentioned. You inhaled.
"You have to say that and I appreciate it, but I've made up my mind on it. It all makes so much sense." You added to your melancholy speech. It seemed to lightly annoy Levi with the way you were speaking.
  "If that's the case than you're not the only one. We all suffer in our ways and we come across things in our lives that scare us or hurt us. You're really not alone, Y/N." Levi attempted to reassure you. You recalled the day you were at one of your lowest points. You had told Levi that you didn't want to be alone after discovering that he, too, was born in The Underground. You gave him a very light, almost forced smile. The look on your face was a haunting sight for Levi. It was the greatest form of misery in his eyes. You forcefully pulled Levi into a tight embrace, not wanting to release him from it. He didn't mind your touch, nor did he really budge at how suffocating your hold on him was. He was there to comfort you, and that was exactly what he was going to do. He made a promise to himself after all.
  "You're going to get through this, Y/N. It's what humans do. No amount of suffering is ever going to change how strong you are." Levi's voice was calm and smooth; almost sure of what was going to happen. You trusted his words, nonetheless. His words formed great meaning in your soul and he didn't even realize it.
  "Totally off topic, but about earlier when you wanted to know what was wrong, I'll admit that hearing you say the reason why you wanted to come with for the x-ray made me a little sad." You nervously laughed after admitting how you were feeling at that moment.
  "That wasn't the only reason. Well, I should actually say that that wasn't the main reason." Levi responded to reassure you of your worry. You beamed at him.
  "I think I know what the main reason was, then." You added, confident in what you had stated. Levi looked at you with a soft, loving expression.
  "Well, we can either stay here all night for as long as you'd like, or we can go wherever else you feel like going." Levi suggested, leaving the option up to you.
  "I actually have an idea of something I've wanted to try for a while. It isn't really a good one, considering the state of my hip." You gave him a cheeky grin, clearly feeling mischievous over what was on your mind. Levi felt wary of what your decision would be.
  "What is it?" Levi asked, awaiting your explanation.
  "We get our maneuver gear and sit up in the trees to watch the stars." Your suggestion caused Levi to react oddly, yet, he still considered the thought. He was moved of how excellent of a plan it actually was. Even though you had personally felt that the idea wasn't all that great, he found it to be quite excitable.
  "I was expecting something far more reckless." Levi confessed boldly. You and Levi headed back toward headquarters to gather your maneuver gear. You were both already dressed in your uniforms, you just needed the gear.

  Once returning to the forest, you had found an area that seemed perfect for star gazing. The sun was just peaking over the mountains in the distance while the sky was painted with soft shades of lavender, pink, and a hint of pale yellow. It was definitely a unique sight that demanded to be seen. You had reached the perfect spot to gaze at the sky as Levi followed behind you. There were no branches in the way or invading your space. It really was an ideal spot. Practically flawless. Levi and yourself basked in the night sky, continuing to talk like you two were the only ones that existed. It truly felt like you and Levi had the sky all to yourselves. It was as if you both were meant to be the only living beings to appreciate and love the stars for what they were. True beauty was laid out before you that was unwarranted and unapologetic. You grabbed Levi's hand without really thinking of a reason behind it. You labeled it as being hungry for comfort as well as awareness that he was still there with you under such a huge, dark sky.
  "Can I kiss you?" Levi asked, leaving you to become a bit shocked. You knew that of course he would ask for permission beforehand, it still made you giggle.
  "I don't know, can you?" You stated, referring to his poor wording. You closed your eyes as you laughed at yourself of how snarky the criticism over him was. You felt Levi lightly pull you closer to him until your nose was touching his. When you opened your eyes, his eyes were in direct view of yours. You swallowed out of nervousness, but you didn't want to pull away at all. You felt your heart beat jump into your throat.
  "May I kiss you?" Levi asked once more. You continued to stare, blinking quite a lot. Instead of answering, you leaned in and kissed him yourself. He moved with you, kissing you in return, pushing his lips against yours as he held you closer. It was warm again, just like the night of the first kiss you both shared. Levi took both of his hands and ran them through your hair. It gave you a tingling, tepid feeling for him to suddenly do that. When the both of you eventually broke the kiss, you tilted your head downward with your chin against your chest and silently sat there. Levi chuckled, grabbing your hands. You looked at him with softened eyes.
  "Who would've thought we would end up here?" Levi mentioned, kissing your forehead gently.