Sunlight {Levi x Fem!Reader} [COMPLETE]

24: Aching

  *THIS CHAPTER HAS A DESCRIPTIVE MOMENT OF AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR AND A VERY BRIEF MENTION ABOUT ATTEMPTED SUICIDE*

  You sat on the floor against the door of your bedroom in silence. For a moment, you thought that you were about to starting crying again, but all you felt was outrage. The blood in your body kept slowly creeping through your veins just to fuel your anger even further. Your body hadn't caught up to your mind yet, because all you could do in that second was break something... many things. You tossed around any breakables or largely built objects. You were fed up with everything. Everything needed to go, you thought.
   The very idea of seeing Levi's face again or remembering what had happened to you was all the more aggravating. You were punching the walls of your bedroom, scraping and bruising your knuckles. There was a lot of blood that seeped out, and you were almost positive that you broke something, but the numbness in your head wouldn't allow you feel it.
  You didn't have many options from that point forward. There was either staying in the Survey Corps, or going back to the Underground. Both options were painfully annoying to think about, but you knew that the Survey Corps was where you belonged. After all, Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Sasha, Erwin and Hanji were all very important to you. You thought to yourself that it shouldn't be Levi that gets to ruin your mood, or the way you lived in the military. You laid down on the floor, flat on your back as you tried to calm yourself, shutting your eyes and listening to your breathing patterns.

  *Two hours later*
  "Y/N." You heard a distraught voice from behind your door, followed by some light knocks. You opened your eyes and sat up. You had fallen asleep on the dusty wood floor. You rolled your eyes and stood up on your feet to answer the door. It was Levi. You scowled at him before attempting to slam the door in his face. Although, he figured you would do just that, so he slid his foot forward in order to stop you from closing the door. You glared at him, eyes baggy and black from exhaustion.
  "I'm just checking up on you." Levi mentioned with a calm tone. You scoffed, laughing at him.
  "What, afraid I might kill myself?" You joked, raising your brows at him as you crossed your arms.
  "Actually, yes." Levi confirmed. You sneered at him.
  "You're ridiculous to think that then, because it takes a hell of a lot more than all that shit to make me want to off myself." You stated sternly, still blocking the doorway. He glanced at the state of your room for a moment before making a response.
  "Doing some redecorating?" Levi cracked a joke with a stale face. You fake chuckled as your reply.
  "Guess you could say that." You mentioned. Levi pushed the door open further, leaving you to take a step backwards for caution. He quickly noticed the dried blood on the back of your hands. He went to grab them out of care for you. Your instincts kicked in and you shifted away from Levi rather quickly. You were shaking at the sudden act that Levi had made. He swallowed, nervous to upset you. You proceeded to act like nothing was wrong.
  "I don't think I allowed you to enter my room." You were furious, but Levi could tell you were only putting up a front. Levi scanned your room that was in such a disarray from all the broken glass and objects. He clicked his tongue as he gazed at the dried blood on the walls.
  "I don't regret what I did. I'm sorry that you had to go through all of that, but because of what happened, that organization is no longer up and running." Levi got what he needed off his chest. You laughed. A part of you felt as if his words weren't truthful, but you avoided any questions about it.
  "Say what you need to feel better about yourself and your shitty decisions. There will always be organizations like that. Just because Xavier is gone doesn't mean another person won't just take his place. You're not a hero, you're an asshole that made the wrong choice and should regret it. I'm just a disposable soldier to you and that's all I'll ever be. I know that now." You paused to take a breath. Levi was unmoved yet again. He wanted to speak, but couldn't find the words.
  "The very sight of you disgusts me right now, please leave." You glared at Levi again, warning him to leave. He nodded and walked out of your room. You shut your door after he left and sighed to yourself.

  A/N: Sorry it's so short. It took a while to get this chapter up, but I was distracted and honestly really unmotivated. I'll post the next chapter tomorrow and it will definitely be much longer.
  For the last chapter, two replies stood out to me. All of the replies were very unique and I loved them, but these two were gold.

~User; LoneTexasRanger: "I would say that she would like work on paperwork and ignore Levi and the others. That's my guess."

~My response; I love that you understand the character (you) so well. That is definitely something she would do, and I even thought of having your character complete some paperwork or doing something productive like that lol. But even though your character didn't complete any paperwork, and instead went on a rampage in her room, I still loved that idea you had. However, you were indeed correct in guessing that she would ignore Levi and the others. Your character is very angry with Levi, so that's to be expected, but with the others, your character isn't purposely going out of her way to be angry with them, or flat out ignore their existence. Your character just isn't going through a good time right now.

~User; DohaLiedri7: "I think that I'm gonna kill myself, then, Levi's gonna find out and stop me and... Idk.. But that's just a prediction tho."

~My response; While your character is a very strong willed individual, who's trauma and past experiences has made her strong, this prediction stood out the most to me. It's very raw and honest. That is a typical reaction someone would have after experiencing the things your character has, but I just feel your character is too strong for that. However, that doesn't mean your character can't have a Mortal Kombat match against a wall. :)))

Thank you so much for the predictions/guesses! I loved them all very much!! If you'd like, reply to this by predicting what you think will happen in the next chapter.