Remember the Past

Chapter 20

 In my dream I am with Colin. We are back at the cottage around the campfire. Colin is strumming his guitar and I am sitting close, listening intently. I smile at him and he smiles back.

I ask Colin to teach me some cords. I sit on his lap. Between the gentle pressure of Colin's chest behind me and the guitar in front of me, the presence is reassuring and comfortable.

He moves my arms to the right positions and holds the back of my right hand as he moves it over the strings. The feeling is electric. I take in every second of his touch. Although, I don't understand why it means so much to me.

No sooner than I think it, that the guitar disappears and my fantasy of being held in Colin's arms are true. We are standing near the light of the fire. I look straight ahead of me at Colin's smile. I glance up to see his eyes sparkling as he looks don at me. My eyes drop back to his lips and he starts to lean into me. I feel his hand on my chin, tilting it up slightly. I want to close my eyes, but my dream won't allow it.

Before our lips touch a shrill laugh breaks through the air.I turn to see a girl walking out of the cottage. Even though I've never laid eyes on her before I instantly know who she is, Savannah. She's the girl Colin has talked about before.

I feel a flicker of rage as she strodes over to us. Both Colin, and i are facing her but Colin still has one arm wrapped around my waist protectively.

She looks back and forth between us and lets out another laugh. "Oh Colin, it didn't take long for you fal for another girl. It wasn't nice of you to trick her like that. I mean, after all you still want me. That is why you are traveling north, to get back to me."

I feel his arm fall away. I glance over to him to see his eyes transfixed on her. He looks as if he were in a trance. How could I blame him? I can see her beauty even in this poor light. Her gray-green eyes shimmer in the fire and her straight shoulder length hair sits perfectly over her shoulders. It is so dark brown it almost looks black and her blemishless pale skin. Perfection is the only word that comes to mind when I see her.

How could I compete with her? I think to myself in defeat. My heart sinks when Colin walks to her. Nope, I'm not even close to competition for her.

The cottage open again and Denver walks out. He is just as tall as I remember. He approached me and shakes his head. "You should never have left Frosjax 17. You're just going to be hurt out here.:

I sense the double meaning in his words. It's tempting to return. It's everything I've ever known and I know it is safe there. Out here, everything is unknown to me. Unknown dangers, unknown people, unknown people, unknown surroundings. Out here I don't know what each day will hold. In the compound each day, each meal, each hour is already planned out for me. I have no worries and no decisions to make.

Denver reaches an outstretched hand for me to take. I start to reach out to take it. When I retract my hand his expression turns angry and he shouts, "Fine, have it your way! Good luck surviving out in the world alone!" Then he turns on his heels and marches back into the cottage.

After he disappears through the doorway two streams of people burts from the cottage. One line of people walk around me to the left and the other walks to the walk. They walk so quickly that I only have a brief moment to see Colin before they cut off my view of him.

A jolt of sadness courses through me when I see Savannah in Colin's arms and he whispers something into her ear that makes her smile widely.

I suddenly snap out of watching Colin and spin around. I am trapped. I am surrounded by young men and women of various height, skin, hair, and eye colors. I've never seen such diversity.

They slowly approach, diminishing my space. As they grow closer, I sink to the ground and I start to choke. The closer they get the thinner my air gets. I'm slowly suffocating. The pain is excruciating. I'm on my hands and knees gasping for air.

As my vision starts to blur out of focus, I realize that breathing has become easier. My breath are even and far between. I open my eyes to discover, to my relief, that it was just a dream.