Last Kiss Goodbye • Teenage Juice Ortiz

66 - Love Me

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THE PAST

Her pencil shoved across the paper. Thoughtlessly; those were no deliberate lines. Only after ten minutes she recognized the scene. It was Jordy's bedroom, with the large windows of which the curtains were waving in the wind, and the king size bed on which four girls were lying, surrounded by magazines full of quizzes. A tear glided down her cheek. She knew the four of them would never sit on that bed again. The damage that was done today, could never be repaired. Beth would never forgive her. Her words kept circling around June's head; that June had destroyed her friend's life. The drop landed upon the paper, leaving a stain. She wiped below her eyes and flinched as she touched a bruise. Staring at the sketch, she saw details nobody else would see, things that only existed in her head, being part of a memory. 

Quick footsteps ascended the stairs, tearing her out of her thoughts. She had barely turned around when the door flew open and Juan stormed into her room. He cursed when he saw her. "I thought she did something to you again! Why don't you pick up your phone?! I called you a hundred times?!"

"It's on silent..." she said a bit overwhelmed. "Because of the classes."

Juan lowered himself on her lap, pulling her in his arms. She whimpered because of all the bruises he put pressure on, but he didn't hear her and buried his face in the crook of her neck. "I thought she got you again because of me. That – that you got hurt again because of me. You didn't show up in class and neither did Beth and I thought... I thought..." His breathing faltered and a warm drop fell on her neck. She shivered. 

"Nothing happened, Juan," she answered softly. His panic made her anger crumble. Cautiously she pushed him off her because it really started to hurt and she didn't want him to feel bad about it later; then she got up and wrapped her arms around him. 

"I would never forgive myself if something happened to you," he muttered.  "This time it really would have been my fault. Not for a moment I thought that she might be willing to take revenge on you but now – now I'm scared she will. I'm sorry June. I'm sorry."

Oddly enough, June hadn't thought about her own safety at all. The only thing on her mind, had been how awful Beth must feel. "She would never..." Her voice trailed off. She would never what? Beat her up? She had already done that. And for what? Only because she wanted to see Juan's brother after his release from prison. Beth had lost her mind because of something like that, what would she do now she believed that June had destroyed her life?

Juan caught her glance, his brown eyes were wide and full of sorrow. "You finally realize how crazy she is? Why I –why I had to do something?"

She tore her glance away from him and stared at the floor. Her shoulders slumped. "I don't want you to hurt anyone because of me. Vengeance never helped anyone. You feel better now, now you've seen her tears?"

"Actually I do," he answered stubbornly. He sighed, grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the bed. Once they sat down, he wrapped his arms around her. "You remember that nightmare, after that fight between Mateo and my mom?"

"Hard to forget," she muttered. The nightmare had returned many times, she however didn't understand why he brought it up now. 

"Well imagine that really happened. That my mom slammed my head against the sink. Just like that, without a reason. Would you wish for no one to intervene? Would you wish that Mateo would turn his head the other way?"

"No," she whispered. "Of course not. I don't even blame Mateo for what he did to you mom. Not really, I think."

He lifted her chin so she was forced to look him in the eye. "It hurt, didn't it? When you heard what my mom said about me? When she beat the shit outta me in your nightmare? Well – what Beth said to you and what she did to you afterwards hurts me too. A lot." Tears shimmered in his eyes. Very lightly, his fingertips stroked the injuries of her face. "Someone who does this to a friend without a reason, doesn't deserve to have friends. It's better for everyone's safety if they give that bitch a wide berth. She's insane, June. She's a fucking lunatic. And you know what's even worse? That there's not a shred of remorse inside her for what she did to you. All she sees is her own pain, and it's never been any different."