Last Kiss Goodbye • Teenage Juice Ortiz

11 - Loss For Words

Edited

THE PAST

June looked over her shoulder as she heard a car door slamming shut. With large steps Juan Carlos was quickly walking away from the vehicle; while his brother was shouting after him as he bumped into the onlookers who were staring at the spectacle his brother had made, but he ignored all of them.

June was frozen to the spot; if there was one thing she hated, it was bullying. It might have been just his friend and brother who were teasing him, but that almost made it even worse.

On top of it all, she was the reason they were laughing at him. She hardly believed it, but maybe if she had been just a random girl in his eyes that he had wanted to mess around with, his friend and brother wouldn't have laughed at him – and it wouldn't have made him angry either. A tingly feeling shot through her stomach as her mind drifted back to the hallway, where they had stood in front of each other; he had asked her out, his hand brushing her face. She didn't even have to close her eyes to feel the back of his index finger stroking her cheek.

She really wanted to go after him, if only to make sure he didn't feel too bad. But what would she say to him? That she really did have feelings for him? That she really did want to go to the prom with him? She already knew she would clam up as soon as he was around. Still, he had stood up for her twice today; first when Emilio asked her those unpleasant questions and again just a minute ago when his brother was doing the same. She wanted to do something in return, she felt obliged to do something in return – to thank him.

"June? Come on, let's go. Juan Carlos is gone, and if Mateo sees you hanging around he's just going to shout more stupid things." Again Beth's fingers closed around her wrist, but this time she pulled her arm away.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly to her friend. "I like him, Beth, I can't help it. I know you hate his brother. But Juan Carlos... He's different. Otherwise he would have been yelling those things at me himself." Nervously she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I feel bad acting like I didn't just see him walk away. If I hadn't turned him down, they wouldn't have made fun of him."

Beth heaved a deep sigh. "You know how his friends are. What makes you think he isn't just like them? He is going to break your heart, June. Why would you do that to yourself? Katie... Katie thought Mateo wasn't like his friends either. But he was the worst of them all."

June glanced over her shoulder again; Juan Carlos had almost disappeared from sight. "I won't forget what happened to your sister, Beth, I won't, and I still don't think I should go to prom with him. But... But just going home now doesn't feel right. I just... I just don't want him to feel bad. Not because of me." She smiled a bit sadly at her friend, pulled away her arm and rushed across the parking lot – giving the blue car a wide berth.

Her legs hurt because she tried to walk as hard as she could without running. She turned onto the street in which Juan Carlos had disappeared and stood up on the tips of her toes to try and see him. He was still in sight, only about 50 feet in front of her. If she were to call him, he would hear her.

But she didn't have the guts.

Her doubt rose again; what made her think this was a good idea? What made her think he even wanted to see her? There was a good chance that he agreed with his friend by now, realizing she wasn't a cool girl at all. She wasn't as pretty as all those other girls and she lacked their confidence.

Juan Carlos had reached a red traffic light. June considered this as a sign to continue her plan and walked closer. Her heart began to beat more and more fanatically with every step she took. Five more steps, four, three... a small part of her prayed that the traffic light would turn green. That didn't happen.