The Beauty & The Tragedy

Crashing From The High

"Don't." She hissed as she held me
against the wall.

"You're hurting me." I choked.

She let me go and shoved her hands into her pockets. She wouldn't even look at me. I walked past her and out into the hallway. My mind was racing. I was furious. It probably wasn't the smartest choice but it was the only choice. I walked outside into a sea of reporters and paparazzi and I gave them exactly what they wanted. A story. A front page, scandalous story.

I looked like a complete and utter mess. My make up running down my face, my eyes red and puffy from crying. The best part was the red marks on my neck. It was painfully obvious what they were and I took a deep breath and told the world who did it and why. I was going to leave her no choice. I was going to force her into a corner that she wouldn't be able to leave unless she admitted what we all knew to be true.

Cameras flashed in my face as the rabid pack of reporters and paps snapped pictures and yelled out questions. I stood there silent, waiting for them to shut up. Once they finally understood that I wasn't going to talk until they were calm, a sudden stillness fell over the crowd.

"I apologize for my appearance." I said, pausing to gather my thoughts. "There's a reason for it and I'll explain that in a minute, but first I have to announce that the band as of right now will be on hiatus for health reasons related to several members. The rest of the tour is cancelled."

Before I could utter another word, the crowd once again exploded. I stood and waited. I had no intention of answering questions. Again, they settled and I continued.

"A short time ago I was involved in a physical altercation with Demi. I doubt it's a secret that she has a severe substance abuse problem and it has been manifesting itself in very violent ways. I hope that she sees this as a chance to make a positive change in her life and seeks the help she so desperately needs. She has nothing but my love and support and I won't be commenting any farther."

As soon as I finished I turned around and walked back inside. I knew Demi would be angry with me but something had to give. I'd finally reached the breaking point of a battle she was winning despite the fact that doing so would ultimately lead to her death. Like a lighthouse, I had to weather the storm and lead her home. I could take a beating. She wouldn't let me off easy either. Words were like weapons to her and she used them well.

I ran into an infuriated Jamie. I had never seen the blonde so livid. I followed her as she stormed down the hallway. I knew she was angry. Her blue eyes were cold as ice, her lips a tight frown. I knew exactly who she was looking for too.

"Jamie." I said as I tried to keep up with her. "Don't."

She pushed open the dressing room door and walked toward Demi. Demi had her feet propped on the table as she leaned back a chair. Jamie kicked the legs of the chair out from under her and watched as Demi crashed to the floor. Ritchie immediately wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her away.

"You don't get to do that! You don't get to hurt her like that!" Jamie said angrily as Demi picked herself up off the floor.

She tried to push Ritchie's arm off her waist.

"Shut up." Demi snapped as she rubbed the back of her head. "Get her out of here." She grumbled to Ritchie.

"No. You fucking shut up. That woman loves you." She spat. "Get off me!" She said as she continued to struggle with Ritchie.

He didn't budge.

"Then where the fuck has she been?!" Demi questioned with a humorless laugh.

"Right in front of your face asshole." She yelled angrily. "You don't get to put your hands on her like that. Not now. Not ever."

"Too fucking late." Demi responded sarcastically.

"You don't deserve her. You never did and you never will."

"Jamie!" I said loudly trying to get her attention. "Enough."

"You're a self centered prick!" She shouted at Demi as she struggled against Ritchie and ignored me completely. "She watched you fucking die asshole! You were fucking dead!"

"I'd still be that way if I had a choice!" Demi screamed back at her.

"Jamie." I said once again trying to calm her. "Let it go ok?" I begged as I stepped in between her and Demi. "It's done. It's over. Just be still."

"This is not ok." Jamie insisted. I could hear the raw emotion in her voice. "What she did to you..."

"I know." I said gently. "Go. It's going to be ok."

She reluctantly calmed herself and left the room, but not before shooting Demi an icy glare. Demi meanwhile gave her the finger and sat back down in her chair. The silence between us was deafening.

"I enjoyed your little press conference." She said as her voice cut through the tension.

"I bet you did."

"Thank you for making my personal business the subject of every fucking magazine and gossip site on the planet." She said coldly.

"It stopped being your personal business when you put your hands around my throat." I snapped at her.

It was then that I realized it was her pride that refused to get help. Her ego was in control now. I chose to remember the person that I skinny dipped in the ocean with. I chose to remember text messages that made me laugh. I chose to remember how safe and comfortable I felt in her arms. I chose to remember the person that I met and had a conversation with that night at the dock. Whoever this person was now, she wasn't my Demi. She wasn't anyone. There was nothing there. Her skin was nothing more than a hallowed out shell.

"Go away." She said with an exasperated sigh. "I didn't ask for you to care."

"Do you see this?" I questioned pointing at my neck. "You did that to me." I watched as the guilt washed over her face. "This is how much I care about you. I'm still standing here trying to help despite this. And believe me when I tell you...it hurts."

"This is exactly why you need to get away from me." Her voice trembled.

"I'm not going to fight with you anymore. The choice is yours." I sighed.

"You shouldn't have betrayed me like that. You shouldn't have talked to the press."

"You shouldn't have betrayed me either Demi." I said sadly as I brought my hand up and rubbed my neck.

It hurt. A lot.

"I guess we're even." Her tone was flat and cold.

"Not even close." I whispered angrily. "I'll be at the airport. The plane will leave at six. If you're not on it...whatever we have between us...is done." I said seriously. "You won't see me again."

"Bye." She called out as I walked away.

It was up to her now. She had to take the next step. I pushed her as far as I could. I couldn't save her alone, she had to help me.

I sat in my private jet and glanced at my watch. She had ten minutes. Ten minutes would decide the rest of my life as well as hers. I told her I'd walk away, I hoped she didn't call my bluff. I was desperate and I hoped that whatever she felt toward me, I'd be able to manipulate into getting her on this plane.

Five minutes later she walked in carrying a guitar case and a backpack. She ignored me an pulled her cellphone out as the plane prepared to taxi. My phone buzzed and lit up. I glanced down and noticed I had a Twitter notification from Demi. Apparently Jamie gave her the password back. I opened the app and read the tweet.

@ddlovato: I'm on plane with the devil heading straight to hell.

She wasn't going to make this easy.