day by day

july 27vnth, 2:25am

tonights the worst in a while.

I can't sleep.

it's 2am.

Paige is lying next to me, passed out.

I am jealous.

I miss you.

I miss the feeling of your hands on my body.

I need your lips tangled in mine.

I miss you.

I miss your voice saying my name.

or calling me gorgeous.

teasing me about how red my face gets when you compliment me.

I miss the way you smirked at me that one specific day.

the way I felt in your arms.

how my soul was finally at peace.

I miss everything about you.

your stupid tattoos that made you so happy, that you were so proud of.

I miss waking up to a text from you.

and just smiling as soon as I woke up.

I miss your love.

and how pure it made me feel.

how you made me feel wanted and worthy.

for something other than my body.

worthy of love.

of life.

you made me feel alive, you made me feel invincible.

and god, I miss that.

you were my heaven.

and now you're my hell.

I can't talk to you.

you're gone.

and I fucking need you.

I need you so bad James.

I cannot

I absolutely cannot

do this without you anymore.

you made me feel like I could do it.

you made me believe that I could live this life.

I miss you so much.

and so,

I lay here.

wide awake.

missing the hell out of you.