Torn (Second Series) {Completed}

19

The panic attack in this chapter is based off of my panic attacks, so if it doesn't seem like yours, then I'm sorry

••• 5 minutes later

"Virgil! Roman!" Patton cried. He left Logan's comforting grasp and ran up to us. "Where were you guys?! I was so worried!" He pulled us both into a hug and wouldn't let go.

"Patton.. I can't... breathe." I wheezed out.

"Sorry!" He apologized and let go of the hug. "But where were you?!"

"We got caught in a storm last night." Roman said while I was catching my breath and Patton was wiping his tears away.

"Are you guys hurt?!" Oh no, Patton's in dad mode.

"No, we're fine." Roman reassured.

Patton made a loud gasping noise. "Oh my god! I bet you guys are starving! I'll make food right now!" He ran into the kitchen and started rummaging through the fridge.

Oh god, I still have anorexia problems. I don't want to throw up today. Please don't make me eat.

"Okay.. well, I'm gonna go to my room now-" I get cut off by Patton.

"Done!" He exclaims.

"What?! How is that even possible?? It's been like 30 seconds!" I ask with genuine confusion.

"It's magiiiiiic." He whispers, setting two plates on the table.

"Um, I'm not really hungry right now." I start trying to walk up the stairs but Patton's voice stopped me.

"What?! Of course your hungry! You haven't eaten in at least half a day! In fact! The last time I saw you eat was-...... um.. it was.."

Oh shit, Patton's getting on to me.

"I-"

"Virgil, when was the last time that you ate?" Patton asks me with concern, cutting me off in the process.

"... I should really go...." I try to run up the stairs but a hand grabs my wrist and stops me.

"Virgil-" Roman starts, spinning me around to face him.

"Please let me go to my room!" I try and tug my arm out, but Roman holds a firm grasp.

"Virgil, when was the last time that you ate, and why are you avoiding the question?" He asks.

I start shaking, a panic attack starting to form.

"I'll tell you later!" I said it before I could think it. I didn't want to tell them at all to be honest. I didn't want anyone to know that I had anorexia. It's one of those things that you'd rather keep a secret from others.

With one final tug, I ran up the stairs to my room. I slammed the door and locked it shut.

Why couldn't you just have eaten the food? God damnit Virgil! Now you got yourself into this mess!

I start crying from my panic attack. I also started breathing fast, but somehow couldn't breath at the same time.

Breath, Virgil. Just breath.

After around 10 minutes, I finally got myself to calm down.

"Virge? You okay in there?" A soft voice from the other side of the door asked after knocking.

I nodded my head yes, but then noticed that they couldn't see me.

"Uh- yeah." I take in a shaky breath. "Yeah I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Mhm."

"Can I come in?"

"Yeah."

I stand up and unlock the door then walk over to my bed and sit down on it.

I watch as Deceit walks into my room, shuts the door, and then sits down next to me.

"Jesus.. your makeup is all messed up." He points out.

"Oh- I forgot about that, sorry." I let out a breathy laugh.

"It's ok." He smiles. "Do you have anything you wanna talk about? You almost gave Thomas a panic attack."

I'm always the one to blame, aren't I?

Even though it's true.. I was the one who almost just gave him a panic attack...

"No, I'm fine." I give a small smile to him.

"You sure?" He questions.

"... Well..." Then I went on to vent for almost an hour.

•••

After I vented, me and Deceit just hugged. We hugged for who knows how long. It made me feel allot better. I had someone who cared.

I smiled to myself and let go of the hug.

"Thank you so much, Dee." I thank.

"Your welcome." He smiles. "If you ever need to vent again, you can talk to me, ok?"

I nod my head.

"Alright, I'm gonna go back to my room. Bye." He waved and left the room.

I stood up and walked over to my door to close it.

God, I hate it when people leave your door open...

Just as I put my hand on the door to push it closed, Roman walked in front of the doorway.

"Hey, do you wanna talk now?" He asks.

"No, not at all. But I'll tell you anyways." I step to the side to let him in.

Roman walks in and sits on my bed. I close the door behind him and sit down next to him.

"Soo?" He asks, waiting for an explanation.

"Just!- gimme a sec to gather my thoughts." I sigh.

"Ok.." He looks at the floor.

I take a deep breath in. "Basically; I have anorexia. At least I think I do. I've never been actually diagnosed with it."

"Oh my god? Really? I'm so sorry. I should've noticed." He looks at me with pity.

Don't pity me..

I mentally sigh.

"It's fine. I don't know what to do about it.. I've never had... help.. with any of my problems." I look away.

I feel Roman hug me tightly.

"I'm sorry I couldn't ever help you. I know I'm not good enough for you.." He loosens the hug a bit as if he's gotten lost in thought.

"What? Roman! You're more than good enough!" I exclaim.

What is he talking about?

"Oh. Whoops. That was supposed to stay inside my head. Sorry." He apologizes.

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Word count: 973

There ya go :3 a long chapter

You're welcome