Skyrim One-Shots

Mercer Frey x Reader(Female) ~Starring Role~

As he crouched, staring at the running, trickling water in front of him, Mercer knew his life was going to end this night. He wasn't as upset as he thought he should be- as upset as a normal person should be. He didn't care if he died or not. Frankly, he was pretty sure he just regretted not spending more time with her. He wished he had gotten to know her better, wished he had been able to tell her everything and how she was the first person to ever make him feel something. Only a single thing- a single spark in his stomach, and nothing more.

He had never felt anything. He had always been empty. A shell of a man who couldn't care about anything no matter how hard he tried when he was younger. No matter how much he pretended, Mercer always felt nothing. There was never fear. There was never thrill. There was never lust or desire or anything that made a person a person. Mercer knew nothing but mimicking behaviors, studying people, and eventually just becoming a crotchety Breton in his forties stealing from his own guild of thieves. If he could laugh about it, if he could find it funny, he would. 

But no- it was too late now. She stood at the other side of the shallow stream of water, a body's distance away. Her eyes watched him carefully like he was going to attack her, wary and hardened from the fact that he had betrayed her family. Her guild. Her people.

He couldn't look her in the eyes. Not now. Not ever.

"Mercer," came the sigh as she sat, closing her eyes and digging her head in her hands. A spell of candlelight floated by her. He didn't respond in any way. "I don't know why you did it, and I'm not going to ask, but I think you should know, you were one of the only helpful people in my life. Bryn, as nice as he is, he cares for the guild. Not for me. I'm an outsider at this point, always have been. You were there. You were always there when I needed you. I don't know what else to say, but I figured you should die with something happy. Something good. You made my life better, as awful as you can be."

His eyes closed, his voice low and quiet as he spoke. "I didn't make your life better, Rust. Don't give me honor when there isn't any. You sound like a love-sick idiot and you know I don't like you," he mumbled the nickname he gave you. He'd figured it fit ages ago- rust was annoying and you couldn't really get rid of it once you had it. It would be there until you spent hours and lots of coin getting it off.

Or in this case, getting it to go away. Mercer hadn't been able to do that, obviously. She seemed to understand him too well. She understood the way he worked, the way he acted and generally seemed to just get who he was. She knew when to back off and when to push him for answers. Good at her craft, it seemed.

"You don't love me. Big fucking deal," she mocked. "I don't care. I don't care if you're an awful person. I fell for you anyway. I'm never going to be your world. I know that. I can't be the starring role in your heart if you don't have one in the first place," her voice shook, cracking with emotion she was holding in. "It doesn't matter. I'm sorry I gave you the cold shoulder last week, I didn't mean it."

"You ignored me because it made you feel like you had control over yourself. I get that much. I can't reciprocate and we both know it, but dammit, ____, you make me want to. You make me wish I wasn't like this. But I am anyway," he shook his head, done with trying to explain what exactly she did to him. "No use on sentimental shit, I guess. Just kill me now."

"No," she clipped. "No, I won't."

"____."

"Fuck, Mercer, I can't. I can't, okay?" she curled in on herself, keeping back tears he hadn't noticed were blooming in the waterline of her eyes. "I can't just kill you."

"Hand me your dagger, Rust."

"But..."

"Give me it," he stated sharply.

She threw it to his side of the shallow stream, the blade landing in the ground with the handle to him. He grabbed it and took it to his guild leathers, cutting off a pouch sewn to his belt and throwing it to her, then flipping the dagger in his hand.

Her eyes gazed to his, confused. He gestured for her to open it. She did.

"I deposited all the vault items and money I could find in a cave near the border to Eastmarch in a cave. That key opens the trapdoor under a bookshelf to get to the cellar, where everything is," his hand clenched the glass dagger. "Tell Karliah that Gallus left a storm of letters for her that he never gave to her."

"What do you mean by-"

Her eyes shot open wide.

And she watched the only man she loved in her life fall to the grass, dead by the very dagger she gave him.

Thank you.

Was all the letter in her hand read.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

oh shit

I imagined Mercer being full-on psychopathic in this one, so when he met the reader and couldn't love her like he wanted to, like she loved him, he'd rather die than put her through that. He couldn't watch her heartbreak over and over again because of him. So, the 'thank you' was for her putting an end to Mercer's numbness and selfishness and greed. She made him realize just how bad everything he had done was, and how he didn't want to live knowing he'd never be able to really love the reader no matter how much he wanted to.

kinda deep.

damn

Dani out,

Adieu!