Mystery Girl's Poems; A Dimensional Emotion

Distant 🌹

I've been running for a long time
My feet hurt now so I've taken rest
And love has finally caught up with me
Surrounding me in every lead
Keeping me coloured but I'm ever green
Blue in regret and sorrow
Green in grudges
And red in rage
A mixture of those and different things
Oh what a long ride this has been
I've witnessed my mind change, not for the better
I've watched myself rain while under the weather
I've held in pain for as long as I can
Surrounded by plenty but never held a hand
From a girl to a beast, I've turned to every shade
Know that I'm strong I've never put a blade to my skin
But from within, I'm cutting, slashing every thing
I try to love but I can't love myself
I try to tell you I'm out of the right mental health
I think I love you
But I think I don't, I -
I think I'll stay
But I know I won't
I try to love you
But I've confused myself
I'm thinking that I love you
But I know I can't
And I start running again but now I push with force
You can't save me I've already jumped off the porch
It's a long way down so enjoy the show
You wanted the truth well daddy here you go
Crazy how I cried for help in the past 5 years
Now I'm screaming out I need no help
Handing out fuck yous, need no assistance
You try to reach me, talking a load shit I've already heard
"I'M SORRY LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE TONE"
You ring again, can't you see nobody's home ?
Nah I'm kidding, I just won't answer the phone
Come to your rescue why should I
When I was your victim it wasn't always peachy pie
Now I'm gone
You want reach my line
Talking about love and the God above
But still my hate is there I hold that grudge
And when I see you on left, I'll cross to the right
So much trauma that I've faced
I couldn't stare you in your eye
You say you're sorry
And I get that I -
But I am sorry that I can't be more than distant
And love you from a distance