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we left the states a few days ago and now we were back home- well my new home. i refused to speak to tom still. i don't know what he expected of me, i can't do what he wants me to do. wants me to be. i recross my legs as i stared at out at the sky from inside the gazebo. my head was leaned all the way back and rested on the railing behind me. i've been here almost every day since we'e gotten back. maids have come to grab me for dinner and to remind me to go to bed. but this was the only space i had to me. i noticed tom and the rest never really came out here so i claimed it for my own. i heard foot steps come toward me, i tilted my head down to see who it was and to my surprise it was sam. he waved at me and i just nodded at him.

"out here again i see," sam chuckled lightly. "mhm." i hummed back. i saw him started to kick his feet back and forth. "so tom just left, harrison and him had a meeting with the families soo.." sam lead on not making eye contact with me. i knew he wanted to ask me something and it was starting to grow annoying how he was acting. "sam what do you want to ask me?" i spoke bluntly as i bored into his eyes. he bobbed his head to the side and met my gaze. "what happened between you and my brother on that trip?" he was direct. i felt my ears heat up, "nothing that has to do with you knowing." i crossed my arms. "sure. but he's been way more of an ass hole since you've all been back." he stared at me like he wanted me to reply. i just shrugged and played with my hair. sam let out a sigh and stood up, then coming closer to me. "sabrina, whatever happened. i know toms a prick, but he has a good heart. and it's soft for you." he patted my head before leaving me alone with my thoughts.

i returned to my previous position and closed my eyes. where was tom's heart anyway. i felt my eye brows pinch together and my nose scrunch up. he was so on again and off again with his emotions for me it's frustrating. one day he's holding me all night and kissing me and then the next he's cold hearted and just wants me for my family name. i clicked my tongue and whipped my head straight. i needed a distraction and fast. i spent the last few sunrises and sunsets lost in my mind about tom holland, and i'm tired of it. i marched back into the house and made my way to the kitchen. once i was in the large metal and marble kitchen i almost froze in my foot steps seeing tom at the breakfast nook. he was reading a folder while running a black wash cloth through his hands. he looked up for a second and i saw him jolt slightly.

"uh- hi sabrina." he coughed out trying to recover himself. i nodded my head at him pretending like him here didn't bother me one bit. "sam said you had a meeting with harrison?" i mentally cursed at myself for how forced my words sounded. "yeah, i just got back. what're you doing?" he said as he stole about seven glances at me. "just making myself some tea." i nodded opening the dishwasher to look for my mug. my heart felt as it had dropped when i saw it wasn't in there. i closed the machine and began to rummage in the cupboards to find it. "i have the maids hand wash your mug, it's in the china cabinet." my head turned to look at tom as he spoke. i felt a smile creep its way to my lips seeing how pink his cheeks were. i mumbled a thank you as i walked over to the cabinet.

"do, do you want any tea tom?" i spoke softly. no matter how hard i tried to deny it i longed for tom. even if it was just small moments i guess. maybe one day tom can want more than small moments like me. i sighed at the thought and watched him try to hold back his smile. "sure, thank you." he nodded at me and glued his eyes back to the papers inside the folder in front of him. i set the kettle on the stove, dropped a tea bag in both our mugs, and placed the two mugs near the stove so they were ready to be filled when the kettle was ready. i pressed the lower half of my body into the counter to try to look at what was inside the folder. tom chuckled and sat up straighter. "you can ask ya' know." he joked with me light heartedly. "okay, what are you reading?" i crossed my arms over my chest and smiled. tom sighed while he stood up, "nothing for you." he said as he shut the folder. he made his way around the nook and stood across from me.

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