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Chapter 37

Kelly

The paper and the flash drive Josh gave me burned a hole in my pocket all the way home. I should've known something was up when Trina texted me earlier.

I gotta give her credit. She played my weakness. Faking an emergency. Saying that Josh was in trouble and hurt. She just wanted me there to see them kissing.

I saw josh push her off and yell at her. I knew he didn't kiss her back. He wasn't the one to blame and although I knew that it still hurt to see him in that situation with her no less.

Josh has told me that there was nothing going on between him and Trina and I believed him. It was a bit of a shock to find out he had sex with all those girls including Trina and Delia. That's what he meant when he said that he was different before he met me.

I believed him when he told me he hasn't touched her in months. I trust him. He hasn't given me a reason not to trust him aside from the fight with Logan. But even then it was deserved from what Logan has told me at the hospital.

I was trying to convince him not to press charges against Josh and it wasn't hard to do once Logan heard about everything. I had explained everything that had happened between us and also explained how it was because of Josh that he was even back on the team.

After hearing the whole story Logan promised to be nicer to Josh which I was grateful for. 

I open the door to my house and step inside before taking off my shoes. I go upstairs and into my room before taking off my hoodie and putting a tank top on and rewrapping my wrist. I tie my hair up into a ponytail and walk across the hall to Logan's room.

There really wasn't much for me to do and for that was glad.

I changed his sheets and picked up all his dirty clothes off the floor and put them in his hamper before walking back over to my room.

I shut and lock the door behind me and grab my laptop off my end table. After getting situated on my bed I lift the lid to my laptop and stick the flash drive in it.

As I wait for it to load, I grab the paper and unfold it. It was a letter that he had written for me.

Piccolo,

I know that I don't deserve you giving me a chance by reading this. I've fucked up everything between us and I regret it. These last few days without you have hurt so bad. It hurts deep inside a place I didn't even know existed.

You deserve to know everything and that's why I wrote this letter. I know I won't be able to say it to your face because I'll hate myself even more knowing that you'll think different of me.

Before I met you I was in a darkness that I couldn't get myself out of no matter how hard I tried. I spent so long trying to get out of the black hole. I gave up after my dad hit me. It was a day that he was really wasted and he found out I failed a math test. He was pissed at me. He beat me until I was bloody.

After that day I gave up trying to heal myself. I gave up on everything. My mom was gone, my sister was gone, and my dad hated me. I didn't have a reason to keep going, but I was to much of a coward to end it. I tried so many times but I always backed out. I couldn't do it.

Sex was a distraction from everything. I slept with any girl that came my way including Trina. There were so many and as much as I hate to admit it but there were. Trina was the most popular because she lived right next door.

If I wasn't sleeping around I was smoking pot with a group of guys at my old school. I hated myself so much for it but I couldn't stop. I knew if I stopped everything would come back. I knew I couldn't handle it.

My dad got in to some trouble a few months before I transferred to GreenLake. He got the football coaches wife pregnant. The coach thought it was his and was so ecstatic. But my dad being the prick he is went and told him that it wasn't his. He ruined his life and he threatened to ruin her life as well if the coach said anything. He began to blackmail the football coach and in exchange for my dad keeping his mouth shut, the coach agreed to put me on the team. At first I wasn't good. I couldn't even catch the ball. But the more I practiced the more I grew to love it. Coach gave me the captain position a few months after I joined the team.

When Jax got expelled dad moved me over to GreenLake. My first day at that school I met the most beautiful girl in the world. She had the biggest brown eyes I had ever seen, but she was so sad.

That first time you smiled at me, I saw a light break through the darkness inside me. Everyday since then you've been pulling me out of that darkness and you've made my life bearable. You made me want to keep going. You gave me a reason to.

I didn't want to tell you any of this. I didn't want you to hate me. I can't handle you hating me Kelly. But I realized if I had any chance with you again I needed to come clean. So here I am writing this to you so that you know everything.

I blink the tears away and wipe my eyes after reading the letter. I had no idea that his life was like that. The fact that he thought I hated him killed me. I could never hate him when he owns my heart.

I glance up at my screen and see that the flash drive had fully loaded. It was a slideshow. I click the play button and lean back against my headboard. butterflies were in my stomach making me sick.

Soft music played through my speakers as the first picture showed up. A picture of the rooftop we went to all those weeks ago.

'Where we had our first date'

Next a picture of the locker room pops up.

'Where we shared our first kiss'

Next a picture of his bedroom.

'Where I let you get a glimpse inside me'

A picture of his truck in the middle of the field in Elizabethtown.

'Where we spent the night amongst the stars'

The final picture is what made my heart stop. It was me smiling up at the sky that night.

'When I fell head over heels in love with you'

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