Summer of '07

Soul Mates

Chapter 31

April 2019

~TRAVIS~

I wake up to find my soul mate still asleep beside me with his arm over my chest. I look over at the clock and see that it's ten o'clock in the morning and while I know that I have to get up, I dread the idea of leaving this position. I feel so warm and euphoric right now, I just can't bring myself to get up. I suppose I'll stay a little longer.

About thirty minutes later, he wakes up and while I want to kiss him, the burden of morning breath prevents me from even speaking to him. I get up and quickly wash my face and mouth, returning quickly to greet him.

"You see, I told you things would be different this time," Elijah says as I return to the bedroom, referencing our first sexual encounter where he gave me the cold shoulder the morning after.

We quickly get dressed and have breakfast in my kitchen where he tells me about his struggles senior year and how that led to his ostracization of me.

"Ya know, after we did stuff the first time it all just felt so weird for me. I felt like I had done something so wrong that it pained me just thinking about it. I was afraid of what other people would think of me, obviously. I didn't want to feel that way. I didn't want to be gay. I hated myself for feeling that way about you. Ya know, I'd look at all these straight people and I'd hate them so much because it just wasn't fair that they were normal and I wasn't."

"Straight people have it so much easier," I comment as I shake my head.

"I just wanted to be one of them. I thought that if I just ignored my feelings for you, and that of course meant ignoring you too, that it'd all go away with time. I thought that dating Heather would make me happy, but it just made me feel even worse because I could never feel the same way about her as I did for you. Ya know, it all made me so bitter and that's why I started those nasty rumors. There was no real reason behind it other than to make you feel even shittier than I did. I was an ass to you... all because I was a self loathing douche. It didn't help that my dad found out about our little threesome thanks to that bitch Heather. He thought that having a threesome with another guy made me a faggot. And it wasn't just that, but it seemed that he always had a gut feeling about me for years. I told you, he treated me like shit, always reminding me that I was going to hell. He'd talk shit about other gay people just to make me feel even worse about myself. So believe me when I tell you this, but I wasn't remotely happy that year either."

I reach for his hand, and he smiles back at me in response.

"In the years that followed, I only ever dated girls as I buried all of my gay feelings. I never got involved with any guys since. I met Michelle and thought that I really loved her. Ya know, I actually believed in us for a while. One year into our marriage, I didn't really feel like she loved me all that much anymore and well... I guess I wasn't wrong. So much for spending the rest of our lives with each other. When you came back into my life I knew that I still had feelings for you, but at the same time I knew that I couldn't act on them now that I'm married... and that kinda sucked. Her cheating finally set me free. I guess, in a way I'm glad she cheated... because now I get to be with you."

"It's crazy how fate brings people together... or in our case, back together. It only took twelve years," I say cheerfully.

"Yeah," he says after a deep sigh.

"So, um... are you actually getting a divorce?" I unfortunately had to ask him that sooner of later.

"I don't know... more than likely. I mean, I want to be with you but... this whole divorce process is gonna be a bitch," he says gloomily.