Summer of '07

Senior Year

When Elijah sat down at the table, on the side opposite from me obviously, they all acknowledged him like he was a fucking god. With me, it was as if I was a fucking random they didn't even know. Realistically, I guess that's what I fucking was. Just another random. They all laughed and conversed amongst each other, and if I tried to interject something they'd just blow me off or straight-up ignore me completely. I knew I wasn't wanted. Elijah didn't even make eye contact with me at all the entire time we were sitting at the same table. I was done.

Without trying to make a scene or drawing any one else's attention, I grabbed my things and headed off. I tossed my entire tray of food in the trash, including the literal plastic tray because I didn't give a fuck at that point. I felt so bad over what just happened. It was eighth grade all over again... only this was worse. This time, I lost my best friend who was the only thing keeping me popular at this school and now I had pretty much no friends at all. Who would have thought that losing one friend would in turn drain the rest of them as well? It gets worse from there though.

When I reunited with Heather, it was the same deal. She didn't treat me like shit as Elijah did, but there was something off about her demeanor towards me. She didn't seem very happy to see me and didn't even bother to say hi when we crossed paths in the hallway. I knew that she saw me because we made eye contact but she didn't wave, nor did she even smile. She just blankly looked at me. It was as if she hated me too even though she had no obvious reason to, unless Elijah told her some shit about me. I knew that he couldn't have told her that we sucked each other off considering how ashamed he was over it, so I didn't understand what he could have told her to push her away from me. I told her upfront that I was gay and not interested in her, but she seemed fine with it... so what could it have been?

I never actually found out... but as the year went on, rumors of what went down between the three of us began circulating throughout the senior class. Most of the rumors however were directed at me. People began calling me a faggot and girls no longer talked to me. Elijah and Heather became like a tag team out to destroy me. There were so many awful rumors about my flaccid dick during my sexual encounter with Heather, about me trying to take advantage of drunk guys, which is what they were claiming happened between me and Elijah and I knew they all had to have originated from Heather. She would pretend to be my friend whenever we interacted but I knew that it was all an act. She was as fake as the rest of them. What a fake-ass slut. To this day, I still fucking hate her.

By the end of the first semester, I was completely ostracized. People thought that I was a pervy faggot and didn't make any efforts to talk to me. Elijah and his crew would always tease me with homophobic slurs, and Heather eventually stopped talking to me completely, and that I was fine with after I learned how fucking fake she was. She began dating Elijah and I would see the two of them holding hands and/or kissing in the hallways. Would make me sick every time I saw that pair of bitches. Eventually there came a point when I loathed the both of them. I don't know why, but Heather was always the one that I hated the most out of the two. I hated her for bringing us together only to tear us a part in the end. Fucking bitch ruined everything. But I guess I can't blame her for everything. I shouldn't have gone after Elijah that night. If I hadn't, then maybe that thing that happened between us that night never would have happened at all. Maybe we'd still be friends and I wouldn't have had such a shitty senior year. Who knows? Too bad you can't turn back time.

Surprisingly enough, the end of my senior year didn't seem so bad at first. By that point in the year I had accepted that I had no friends and that Elijah was gone forever. I even became friendly with this one cute guy in my computer class. His name was Brayden and he was a sophomore at the time, only 16, while I was 18, so I knew that nothing ever would have happened between us... but I couldn't help but dream about it. Helped me get over Elijah, who had pretty much plagued my mind the entirety of senior year. Brayden was an interesting guy. He knew nothing of the senior gossip so he didn't know about the rumors surrounding me, thank god. Sometimes I even felt like he was flirting with me. One time, he jokingly suggested that we kiss, and boy... he had no damn clue how hard that made me just thinking about that. He wasn't exactly "out," if you'd call it... but I knew that he was at least a closeted gay. I knew this solely based off of his behavior around other guys, myself included. He would giggle a lot and get very handsy amongst other guys. He'd call some of his guy friends cute and joke about kissing them... and if that didn't scream gay then I don't know what did.