Summer of '07

The Past

"Yeah. I had a few acquaintances here and there but realistically I had no one. I didn't hang out with anyone outside of school. People in high school were so fake and full of shit."

"Sorry. I—"

"You could not have imagined how fucking awful that year was for me. I lost my best friend over such petty bullshit and then I found myself being isolated by everyone I knew, all because of the nasty rumors that you and Heather started. And then seeing the two of you together all the time after what happened between the three of us, it made me sick. I hated the two of you so much. It wasn't fair that I was the one who was miserable while you and Heather were so perfectly happy," I finally explode, letting out all of my repressed pain from that year. It was finally time for him to hear how it felt for me to be abandoned and betrayed by my best friend, all over something so fucking stupid.

He doesn't say anything right away, and instead just stares at me. He looks as if he's unable to form any words, but I can tell that he feels sorry and wants to say something. He just doesn't know what to say.

"After it was all over... every time I'd see a picture of you I'd feel sick to my stomach, knowing that I was ever friends with you after what you did," I add, perhaps taking it too far, but oh well... I already said it. Can't take it back now.

"Trav, I... I don't know what to say..." I predicted he'd say that.

"You don't have to say anything... I just wanted you to know..."

He wraps his arm around me and very awkwardly attempts to hug me. "I was going through my own shit as well... should have never taken it out on you," he says, and it sounds as if his voice was about to break. I hug him back, knowing that he's a different man now, and reestablishing the fact that I've forgiven him for what he's done. The past is gone for good.

When we pull out of our hug, I look at him and ask if he's alright, to which he replies, "Yeah. I'm good. I needed to hear it."

"No, I shouldn't have went off on you like that," I say, regretting my decision to blowup on him after seeing his reaction, which in turn just breaks my heart.

"Nah man, you had to let it out at some point. I'm glad you did."

We don't speak for minute or two and just sit in silence as he checks his phone for a message from Michelle but she hasn't yet texted him.

"If you don't mind by asking, what kinda shit were you going through?" I suddenly bring that subject back to the surface for no reason other than the fact that it piques my curiosity.

"My own shit, man. It wasn't an easy time for me either," he responds vaguely, but I really just want him to admit it already.

"Was it because of the night at the motel?"

"... No."

"Do you even remember that night?"

"Somewhat. Do you?"

"Oh yes. I remember that night very well." I see the look in his eye and I can instantly read his discomfort with the conversation.

"Cool... I hardly even remember it at all. I remember getting drunk... and smoking weed... and playing stupid drinking games with Heather..."

"And? A lot more happened than that." My heart is literally pounding inside my chest as I patiently wait to hear what he has to say next.

"I got cross-faded, you can't expect me to remember every little detail." Now I can tell that he's just intentionally trying to ignore the truth.

"That's not the only thing that got crossed that night."

"What does that mean?"

"You tell me. What happened that night that ended our friendship the following morning, Elijah?"

"I... I don't want to talk about it."

"So you do remember?"

"No."

Our conversation immediately thereafter comes to an end as Elijah finally receives a text from Michelle telling him she's outside waiting for him. "That's Michelle... I gotta go," he says with a hint of discomfort. Perhaps I pushed him too far. Doesn't matter though, he needed a little push. He can't hide from the truth forever.

I walk him outside the apartment complex just so that he doesn't get lost and when we reach Michelle's car, he just says, "I'll see ya around," before he gets in. He barely even looks at me, though I can't really blame him considering...

"See ya," I reply, having no idea whether I'd ever see him again. I hope that I do. I genuinely want us to be friends again, but I can't just let the past stay buried forever.