Summer of '07

Catching Up

"What? No," I say, as my cheeks grow red.

"Why are you blushing?" He asserts, with a grin on his face.

"Because... that's a stupid question."

"Why's it stupid?"

"No reason," I answer through a deep sigh.

Our conversation falls into a pit of silence for a bit, until I bring up a topic I'm sure he'd remember. "So... whatever happened to that girl from summer camp?" I still hate her that I don't even want to say her name aloud.

"What girl?" Seriously? What other girl did we know from summer camp?

I don't reply and just look him in the eyes until he catches on.

"Oh, that girl!" Finally, he's using his brain. I guess he was never very good at that to begin with. "I don't know, man. We broke up on prom night and I never saw her after graduation. Probably became a stripper!" He joked brutally, as if he hated her more than I did.

"Wow, brutal much?"

"Oh come on, man. I know you hated her!" You bet your ass I did. Though she wasn't the only one I hated at that time.

"I still do," I laughed. "I mean, the way she fucked with us our first summer? Do you remember? We got in a huge-ass fight over her and she wasn't even worth it!"

"She sure wasn't."

"Why'd you date her then?"

"I don't know, man. I was bored and lonely, I guess." Yeah, who's fault was that?

"You were lonely?" I scoffed.

"Shit, I'm sorry, man." You should be.

"Sorry for what?"

"Sorry for what happened."

"You just stopped being my friend... out of nowhere." Well, it wasn't entirely "out of nowhere."

"I know," he says, genuinely regretful. At least I think he is.

"Why did you do that?"

"I don't know... I was stupid back then."

Talking about this again makes me really want to confront him over what actually happened, but I know that if I bring it up too soon, I'll push him away before I can even get any closure on it.

"You once told me, that I would look back on it some day and regret what I did..."

"And do you?" I mentally prepare myself for him to say "Hell no!" so that I'm not shocked for when he says it. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if this whole thing was just a charade and he was just playing me right now.

"Yeah," he says as his face turns red and I can sense the distress in his eyes. "Can you ever forgive me?"

I let out a deep sigh as I look around the coffee shop, intentionally trying to keep him in suspense. "Yeah, man. It was a long time ago. We were both just kids."

He sighs with relief. "Thanks, man."

"Forgive and forget, right?" I can't say I'll ever actually forget about what happened but at least I can forgive it. There's no reason for me to hate him now considering his efforts to show me that he is sorry. Assuming that he actually is sorry.

He smiles at me. "Yeah, of course! I'm glad you don't still hate me for it."

"I just don't see the point of holding a grudge on anyone anymore. It doesn't make me feel any better. Just makes me resentful and I don't want to be that kind of person." I guess that's one thing I've learned from my experience with Elijah and our falling out.

"Wow, man. You couldn't be more right! I wish I was that willing to forgive people who've hurt me. I've been through a lot of shit and I still hate some of the people involved."

"Well, I mean... I know I said I still hate Heather, but realistically I just mean that I hate what went down between us... and the things she did. Ya know, the way she played us and all. And then there was... that other stuff." Maybe I haven't exactly forgiven her yet. If it weren't for her involvement a lot of the things that ended up happening that summer would never have happened at all, so I'm kind of still torn on that one.

"Have you forgiven her?"

"I mean... yeah, sorta I guess... I just kind of wish she had never come into our lives to begin with, ya know?"

"If it weren't for her... we never would have become friends though. And those three years of our friendship were some of the best years of my life." Were they, now?

"If it weren't for her... we never would have..." I know what I'm wanting to say, but I'm afraid to spit it out so soon. This is only our first interaction in over a decade, if I bring it up now, he could...

"Never would have what?" I can see it in his eyes that he knows what I'm referring to, and yet he's asking me anyways. He's purposefully playing dumb to avoid confronting the truth of what happened. Unfortunately that implies that he's not ready to talk about it, so I don't continue with what I was going to say.

"Nevermind," I say quietly as I look away from him. He doesn't insist on me continuing my last statement. Obviously because he knows—and dreads where I was going with it.

"Anyways..." He begins, starting a fresh, new conversation. "I'm having a Superbowl kickback party at my place this Sunday. You're welcome to come out and hang with us. It'll be a lot of fun."

I don't really know about that. Parties just aren't really my thing anymore. But then again, I could go just to go and have something to do on a Sunday night. "Al-Alright..." I say reluctantly.

"Awesome. I'll text you the address," he says enthusiastically, as he whips out his phone.

As he sends me the message, all I can think about is how the fuck we got here. Last time I saw him was the worst night of my life when he told me that he was never my friend and that he never wanted to see me ever again. And now he's inviting me to his party as if the past couple of years never even happened and we were still the best of friends. I guess a lot can change in just twelve years.