Dog Days

8 ~ roast beef

I TOOK CAROLINE OUT FOR DINNER.

Nick had come over beforehand and given me a solid talk about how to be a gentleman and make Caroline feel like a queen. I didn't truly need it, but my beloved friend feared of me ruining the possibility of this relationship. Then, he asked me which tie he should pick for his date—and I knew it was the main purpose of his visit.

We discovered the city together before I left for my conference, via Nick's recommendations and Google's help. Caroline was funny, talkative, and beautiful — even if some of her behaviors went iffy at the end. I wagered she was too excited, like me, and when you get excited, you do things you don't mean to. So, at the end of our small trip, I asked her out for a proper dinner.

We texted regularly after that, and she brought me sandwiches for lunch occasionally from the café Kara worked. Though I didn't mind running into Kara, I found myself talking out of entering that café after our time with Caroline there. It was just her brutal comment about Caroline as if she could read into people so well.

As I waited for Caroline in her driveway, I ran a hand through my hair and smoothened my shirt. She arrived thirty minutes later than we agreed, but I just offered her a smile and said no problem when she apologized for being late.

If being a gentleman meant playing the dumb, well, I was rocking it.

When I asked her where she would like to eat, she left the decision to me. I had already booked a table in a famous restaurant, but Nick told me to care about her preferences out of courtesy.

During my time in New York, I had plenty of time to mull over what Caroline meant to me. She was pretty and fun to spend time with, but did I really see her more than that? The more I pondered over this, the more I started believing that I was keeping her as a placeholder for someone greater. It wasn't fair to her—I could see that. My parents were pretty excited about me getting into a serious relationship and eventually getting married, and I knew that this was me trying to please them rather than pleasing myself.

I hadn't talked to Nick about my concerns, mostly because I thought it would eventually pass, but I was almost sure that I didn't like Caroline that much. She just ticked off the essential elements of my list, but she didn't make my heart move. If I told anyone about this, they would call me a perfectionist. I called it self-respect.

Pulling her door open, I held her hand and ushered her into the restaurant. The setting was awesome. The slow melody coming off a violin in the background rendered the whole thing romantic, but I couldn't feel that synergy that I should have felt.

I didn't feel that spark Nick had in his eyes when he talked about Sarah.

When we settled at our table, Caroline spoke up. "Austin, you're silent tonight."